Conversations with Coworkers

I told my coworkers I'm going to South Korea for the May holiday. Zhou Ying and Ye Zi said I should go to North Korea instead. I reminded them as an American, that is not possible...and besides, I find North Korea to be depressing. Then we had the following conversation:

"Depressing? North Koreans are very happy!"
"…how are they happy? They lead brain-washed lives."
"But they don't know they're brain-washed, so they're happy with what they have. They love their country so much! They're probably happier than we are, because they never have to worry about starving or finding a job or buying a house."
"uh... let's not even go into socialism. But is it true happiness if you're denied the truth? They still have a low quality of life, no matter how much they believe in their Great Leader."
"Well…I think you look at things from an American point of view."
"I look at things from a point of view that values the ability to think for oneself and allows individual freedom. Sure, you can call it American."

To be fair, Shi Xiong was on my side. He is also much older and has studied abroad. Being exposed to foreign cultures and ideas really makes a difference...

A few minutes later, Ye Zi started telling me how dangerous Xinjiang people are, how they always steal and are extremely violent. I think she saw my skeptical face, because she then hurried to reassure me that only Xinjiang people in Shanghai are dangerous…because a friend of hers went to Xinjiang and said the people there have normal, peaceful lives. Well, imagine that! I tried explaining to her that being a marginalized, underrepresented, poor part of society tends to make people resort to crimes. She insisted Xinjiang people are naturally prone to being criminals and selling drugs because their culture has a problem. At this point, I just turned around and went back to work.

I don't think my coworkers represent all Chinese people. But at this point, I've met so many--dare I say it--ignorant idiots, that I've already lost faith in Chinese opinions about the world. I know this isn't their fault, that their education system has huge, glaring problems, that their culture promotes conformity over creative thinking, etc... but at this point, I prefer American ignorance to Chinese ignorance.

Chinese wedding games

My Chinese flatmate Paula got married today and the festivities started early in the morning. The cosmetician and all the bridesmaids arrived around 8. Around 10, the people downstairs set off a huge heart shaped "wreath" of firecrackers that lasted for several minutes. This is when the groom started coming up the elevator and the girls, all dressed up, hurried to the front door in anticipation for him to arrive.

Apparently, the tradition is to harrass the groom by giving him tasks to prove his devotion to the bride. The girls first demanded red envelopes before letting the groom in, so the guys outside started stuffing 红包 under the door (I got one too...20 kuai!). But money wasn't enough--after lots of loud negotiating and jokes in Shanghainese, the girls wanted him to do 20 pushups before he could enter. Miles was watching in the hall and said they didn't actually do them, but the guys got to come in, after "pushing" their way in past the girls' barrier.

That was just the front, main door. For the second door to the actual apartment, there were more tasks. All of us were standing in the hallway and just watching the hilarious 热闹. The men had to dance Swan Lake together, and then the groom had to sing 10 songs with the word "云“ in them. He could only think of two, even after checking online on his phone, so he appeased the bridesmaids by stuffing more 红包 under the door. Then he had to think of 20 positive qualities of the bride (respectful to elders, good handwriting!) and say "I love you" in 20 different languages or dialects (somehow bonjour and salut got included). Finally, this door opened...

...and one more door, the one to the bedroom. He had to write 20 promises to the bride (ie make a fortune and stay out at night with the guys for only 2 hours at a time). Finally he was granted access into the bedroom, where he had to find the bride's wedding shoes and put them on for her.

Things finally calmed down, tea was poured, photos taken. The couple was probably exhausted by this point, but they then had to go downstairs to the waiting limo to go to the groom's house for more games. After the ceremony and reception, apparently the friends will follow them back to their house to harrass them some more. Last night Paula told me a wedding is only fun for friends and family, and it definitely seems like it. They looked very happy together though.

Tomb Sweeping Festival weekend

I remember visiting the burial mounds on my dad's side when I was very young. My aunt brought food and had us burn paper money. I didn't really understand what it was all about then...but all my ancestors are up north, so I spent this year's holiday hanging out in Shanghai.

Saturday--I visited the Yu Gardens with Anna and Werner. Beautiful place, but packed full of people.


Lots of detail, even in the roofs.

Afterwards, Michael and I went to "P-yoga" which we quickly discovered meant pilates-yoga...no fun, pilates is painful. Then, delicious vegan dinner at Godly with the flatmates and Jacki.

Sunday--went to the Shanghai Urban Planning Center. This is a cool museum, which shows the past, present, and future of Shanghai. I really like seeing the pictures of old Shanghai, as well as the room size model of the city. There is a special exhibit on the Expo, and as tired as I am of all the Expo propaganda, seeing all the designs and models made me pretty excited to see the real thing.





Then I went to Easter potluck at Susan's place, where I ate too much American food and amazing carrot cake made in a rice cooker.

Monday--we had the day off, so me and the flatmates went to the South Bund fabric market. This place is three stories of tailors and fabric, full of knockoff Burberry coats, traditional Chinese clothes and Versace suits--all custom-made. You bring the tailors a picture of whatever you want, pick a fabric, haggle a price, and the clothes will be done in a week. The boys were very bored...but Anna and I both got a casual qipao made, which I'm excited to see how it turned out. Then at night, went to burger night at Blue Frog Cafe, where I met more of Susan's expat friends.

And today--just got back from a North Korean film festival at Dada Bar, hosted by Koryo Tours. I only stayed for one of the documentaries, The Game of Their Lives, which is about the North Korean soccer team who nearly made it to the finals in the 1966 World Cup. Very interesting.

The bad and the good

Things I am tired of:

• Hour long commutes to work every day.
• The bus driving in the bike lane during rush hour. That means I have to get off in the midst of 50 irate scooter drivers and seriously hope my fate isn't to die meaninglessly in China.
• Rainy days almost every other day. The crappy weather in general. And it's been cold since November, where is spring??
  
• Old women cutting me in line to get on the bus, for the checkout, every conceivable situation where a queue might be needed.
• Coworkers talking about Happy Farm.
• The smiling blue Haibao mascot and its creepy ubiquity...whatever size/material it's made of/outfit it's wearing, I just want to deface them.
  
• Coworkers asking dumb questions about America
• Censorship.
• Coworkers who constantly emphasize which genders should do what activities or have what preferences. For women: driving small Japanese cars, cooking and cleaning, cutesiness. For men: sports, being professors, architectural design.

To balance out the negativity...things I'm happy about

• New gym membership. Do yoga, workout, sit in the sauna.
• My flatmates.
• Mangos everywhere
• I'm sure there are more, but I don't feel like racking my brain to make a fair list.

Three months. There are lot of things I miss.

A few photos

I sometimes help the interior designers do some sketches for the client.


Magnolias are the city flower. For about four days, there were gorgeous white and pink magnolias all over the city, but they're gone now.


Strongbow! It was 25 kuai at City Shop, an overpriced foreign goods store. But if I were rich, I'd shop there too.


On the bus to work today, I saw this great example of worker safety in China.

I've been trying to cook more often, now that I have access to the kitchen. For dinner today, Anna and I made curry with "vegetarian chicken", which is pretty much like very firm tofu. For dessert, I made a mango banana smoothie with some coconut milk.

Weekly Report 3: Happy Farm

The reliance on the internet is astonishing here. I know I would find extremely difficult to not go online, as most Americans would too, but for the most part, our hobbies and social lives don’t exist in the virtual realm. For my Chinese workers, their life exists on the internet… one thing especially funny is their obsession with Happy Farm.

Anecdote 1: Xiao Xu is married, and his pregnant wife is in the hospital. He says now that she isn’t home, he’ll go eat fast food and then play computer games the rest of the night. The other coworkers then joked the only difference with her gone was that he no longer ate homemade meals. But apparently they were only half joking. He said today that a normal day for him is to go home, eat dinner with his wife, and then each of them go watch tv or go online until bedtime. Perhaps this is a normal working couple routine, when both people are too tired to do much else, but I start to wonder when a 29 year old man plays WoW or Happy Farm every night instead of hanging out with his wife.

Anecdote 2: During the Suzhou trip, Xiao Hong suddenly exclaimed “Oh no, I forgot!” and hastily pulled out her cell phone to call her husband. I thought she forgot something urgent, but no…she told him she wouldn’t get back until late and asked if he could sign on to her Happy Farm account to collect her vegetables. A 27 year old woman collecting virtual vegetables to sell in her virtual restaurant to cute animated people to make virtual money…to buy more vegetables. When I asked the office what the fuss about it was, they told me it was like Americans with Facebook. Oh and that it’s not just collecting vegetables, you can buy pets and upgrade your restaurant so more customers come!

I don’t know. I haven’t seen this kind of phenomenon in America, where every demographic of the population is obsessed with a game—especially one that looks like it’s meant for elementary school children. I know that sounds really disparaging, but seriously—it’s a brightly colored flash game, with cute animations, simple concept, no real brainpower needed.

Why do Chinese people need Happy Farm? Clearly, it’s all about escapism. The Happy Farm game actually reminds me of Neopets, this cute online game everyone plays when they are 11. Looking back on those days, the best aspect of the game was you had complete control. For an 11 year old, it’s liberating to make all these incredibly important decisions, such as what to feed your pet or what price items in your shop. I think Happy Farm works the same way for Chinese people. After a mind-numbing day at work/school where they are told what to do or force-fed information, it gives them a chance to make money, to make their own decisions (buy a white puppy or new curtains?), and to make friends. The main website is a huge networking website like Facebook, but actually has a lot of functions that work well.

But I think the craze may also be due to a rather juvenile collective mindset. There isn’t a very high level of sophistication in terms of clothes, food, and activities (middle-aged women often dress nauseatingly “fashionably” with ruffles, rhinestones, fur, and stiletto leather boots—all in one outfit.) So Happy Farm is appealing because Chinese people aren’t used to anything more advanced. Sometimes what we need is a brainless, fun game to decompress after a tiring day, but I believe in age-appropriateness for everything.

Slaughterhouse and donuts

I've been making some good friends with my flatmates. Michael is Swiss and is teaching me French. Thanks to Spanish and English, I can already have basic conversations. Anna is Austrian and she is helping Miles learn some German. Between the four of us, we speak 8 languages so we have fun language exchange nights.

This past weekend was the first weekend without rain, so all decided to go and check out a few sights. First was lunch at Zhapu Lu, one of Shanghai's famous food streets. Everything was covered in bamboo scaffolding, and I assume the entire area is getting a makeover for the Expo. Since Anna is vegan, we went to a vegan restaurant that turned out to be a little disappointing...still fun to walk around though.

I've seen the Chinese Colonel Sanders, but this is the first time I've seen a Chinese Mrs. Colonel Sanders.

We then walked over to 1933 district to check out the Old Millfun, which used to be one of the biggest slaughterhouses in the world. Now it is a high-end shopping mall with American Apparel, cafes, and "Fever Parties". The architecture is fascinating and beautiful--everything is little oppressive, with dark gray concrete and very little sunlight. In the main atrium, winding ramps and narrow stairs criss-cross without any obvious pattern. It feels a little like being in an anthill. Add the fact that cows used to be slaughtered there and you get a slightly creepy vibe. The place was not designed for people, but I love that it's been restored instead of 拆－ed.

Observatory deck with a glass floor.







The first time I went, the place hadn't officially opened yet and it was also nighttime so everything was dark, empty, and wonderfully creepy. This time, the place was crawling with people and there were small shops everywhere. I kinda like the abandoned feeling better. But we happened to come across the monthly flea market where we bought a few trinkets.

Handmade ring and necklace

Afterwards, we all went to Krispy Kreme for some coffee and sugary, fatty goodness. Pretty good day.

Long days

Get up at 7:30, leave at 8:30. Work from 9:30 to 18:00. Get home at 19:00. It’s incredibly tiring, even if I don’t do much at work. The long travel time really takes a lot out of me, and the terrible weather this past week is draining—I think it’s because I spend so much energy shivering at the office.

I’m also getting used to the city. Since I have a few bus options to take to work, I’m learning all the streets, at least between People’s Square and Xujiahui.

I often feel alienated in such a huge city, but it’s not always a bad feeling. Sometimes, it’s almost liberating, to feel like nothing. I was walking home last night from the bus stop and was overcome by a strange sense of solitude. I’m not sure how to describe it, but I felt as if I understood everything around me and was therefore absolutely disconnected from the world. For some reason, I wanted to die... It sounds morbid and depressing yet I was feeling neither. I was a little surprised by my own strong urge for everything to just end, but in that moment, it was almost euphoric. I wanted to just keep walking.

Instead, I went home and had noodles for dinner.

Weekly Report 1: Stranger in the workplace

We have to keep a weekly report for an online class. Might as well throw it on here. I usually write an outline first in English, but this is the slightly fleshed-out version.

The first day in the office was incredibly awkward, for me and I think for everyone. First of all, the boss wasn't there, which left everyone else to figure out what to do with me, even though they didn't know either. One of the editors was the only one who welcomed me, cleared a desk for me, and gave me some magazine to flip through. The four other people looked at this strange, inexperienced, Chinese-American, and then turned back to their computer screens. I asked for everyone's names, which they gave briefly before continuing their MSN chats. The general feeling I got was disinterest.

At first, I was bothered by the cold welcome. But then I remembered my initial experiences with taking classes at Nanjing University, and how it took many weeks before people began talking to me as a peer. Americans are used to self-introductions and a handshake, or at the very least say hello. However, Chinese people definitely have a strong us-them mentality and a stranger in the workplace is someone that no one has any relationships with and therefore no obligations to. Until I establish my place as one of the group, things will be uncomfortable and coworkers will seem unfriendly.

A week after starting, one of my coworkers now chats with me occasionally. Of course, he is very Chinese male (not even going to get into that...other than he is a perfect example of Chinese misogyny) but it is good to not be ignored.

New internship

Back in Shanghai after an amazing break at home. It went by so quickly that it doesn't even seem like I left China. It's been raining nonstop the past week and will until the next week. What's worse, 梅雨季节 or plum rain season will soon be coming up. I've been told it'll rain continuously all of June and July. Good thing I'll be out of here in July!

My apartment:


But the important news, I am now working two internships. I found an architecture one with the help of a family friend, and so far I really like it. The boss is incredibly nice, the coworkers are friendly and talkative, and the work is interesting. I've never been told to design a Suzhou garden luxury villa before, but I am doing my best... the first day I just worked on conceptual sketches. It seems like they expect a lot of me, and with my obsessive need to excel in everything, I am really nervous.

Yesterday, the boss, two coworkers and I went to Suzhou to see the site. Our luck was off the whole day. The rain didn't let up for a second and it was freezing cold. Since I lost my toenail over the break (long story), I was wearing sandals which turned out to be a terrible idea...the site is basically undeveloped farm land with dirt roads, so I was running around in muddy fields all day. We got stuck in the mud for a bit when our boss tried to drive on a dirt road...poor Xiao Xu was covered in yellow mud.


We snuck into a construction site nearby. I guess this is the style we're going for--modern-day traditional Chinese.

We didn't get many good pictures because of the weather so the trip wasn't really worth it. What really made the day terrible was the 2.5 hour drive back turned into 5 hours. Half of that time was spent on a 10 km stretch of the freeway, where there was an nasty, inexplicable traffic jam.

I have a bit of work to do for the magazine this weekend. Have to research "overseas Chinese" architects for them to interview, which doesn't really make sense to me... they don't care if the architects are third-generation and/or have never been to China. They told me because they have a Chinese ancestry we want to include them in our magazine. This is such a Chinese mentality---once Chinese, always Chinese.