By now, I'm familiar with most Chinese perceptions of female beauty: white skin, big eyes with long eyelashes, thin legs, nice breasts. I've seen products that can help with all of these areas. The most ubiquitous are the whitening skin products; it is nearly impossible to find a skin product that doesn't whiten, whether it's lotion, face wash, or sunscreen. There are plenty of eye makeup products as well as eyelash lengthening treatments, and if that isn't permanent enough, surgery to get a upper eyelid crease. There is a weight-loss tea commercial I see everyday on the bus that supposedly slims every part of your body, including your calves. In Korea you can get calf slimming surgery (where they basically remove some muscles…) And as for breast enhancement, other than the obvious plastic surgery, I once saw a bizarre infomercial for a "breast spray". It costs only 9 yuan but promises to increase bust size from flat to popping out of your shirt. It was the most entertaining thing I've seen.
I haven't really figured out what Chinese guy attractiveness is, although many girls have said they like their men to have an apartment…haha, oh sad but true.
I don't think Chinese people are more gullible when it comes to health and beauty miracle products (then again, they have Chinese medicine…) but I see so many commercials here, so they must have some sort of target audience. Like that diet tea commercial on the bus--I turn up my music whenever it comes on because I hate the ending phrase "不要太瘦!“ (Don't be too skinny!) I don't get it. I just watched a 2 minute commercial on how you can slim down your neck, waist, hips, arms, calves, and face.
As for Chinese health…it's interesting how so many things are still rooted in old ideas. We were talking about Xiao Xu's wife, who is doing the traditional 坐月子 after having a baby. Traditionally, the new mother can't leave the house for a month, eat "cold qi" food, take a shower, be exposed to wind, etc… maybe before modern medicine, these practices helped women recover faster. The modern version of "sitting a month" doesn't have to include no showering, but it often includes not using the tv, cellphone, or going online. I feel like this would just lead to postpartum depression, all the being cooped up inside with your mother-in-law and being made to eat pig knuckles and drink herbal concoctions. Then again, maybe you can have better psychological health and bond with your baby more. I'm sure lots of working moms regret not spending more time with their babies. But Chinese people never bring up that as a reason for 坐月子, probably because talking about psychological health is still a little taboo.
I'm not very convinced by most Chinese medicine practices, especially when I ask people how do they know it works and they reply, "Because we've been doing it for 5000 years!" Ah well. Sometimes peace of mind is the best thing and who am I to take that away?
Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts
5/11/2010
4/14/2010
Conversations with Coworkers
I told my coworkers I'm going to South Korea for the May holiday. Zhou Ying and Ye Zi said I should go to North Korea instead. I reminded them as an American, that is not possible...and besides, I find North Korea to be depressing. Then we had the following conversation:
"Depressing? North Koreans are very happy!"
"…how are they happy? They lead brain-washed lives."
"But they don't know they're brain-washed, so they're happy with what they have. They love their country so much! They're probably happier than we are, because they never have to worry about starving or finding a job or buying a house."
"uh... let's not even go into socialism. But is it true happiness if you're denied the truth? They still have a low quality of life, no matter how much they believe in their Great Leader."
"Well…I think you look at things from an American point of view."
"I look at things from a point of view that values the ability to think for oneself and allows individual freedom. Sure, you can call it American."
To be fair, Shi Xiong was on my side. He is also much older and has studied abroad. Being exposed to foreign cultures and ideas really makes a difference...
A few minutes later, Ye Zi started telling me how dangerous Xinjiang people are, how they always steal and are extremely violent. I think she saw my skeptical face, because she then hurried to reassure me that only Xinjiang people in Shanghai are dangerous…because a friend of hers went to Xinjiang and said the people there have normal, peaceful lives. Well, imagine that! I tried explaining to her that being a marginalized, underrepresented, poor part of society tends to make people resort to crimes. She insisted Xinjiang people are naturally prone to being criminals and selling drugs because their culture has a problem. At this point, I just turned around and went back to work.
I don't think my coworkers represent all Chinese people. But at this point, I've met so many--dare I say it--ignorant idiots, that I've already lost faith in Chinese opinions about the world. I know this isn't their fault, that their education system has huge, glaring problems, that their culture promotes conformity over creative thinking, etc... but at this point, I prefer American ignorance to Chinese ignorance.
"Depressing? North Koreans are very happy!"
"…how are they happy? They lead brain-washed lives."
"But they don't know they're brain-washed, so they're happy with what they have. They love their country so much! They're probably happier than we are, because they never have to worry about starving or finding a job or buying a house."
"uh... let's not even go into socialism. But is it true happiness if you're denied the truth? They still have a low quality of life, no matter how much they believe in their Great Leader."
"Well…I think you look at things from an American point of view."
"I look at things from a point of view that values the ability to think for oneself and allows individual freedom. Sure, you can call it American."
To be fair, Shi Xiong was on my side. He is also much older and has studied abroad. Being exposed to foreign cultures and ideas really makes a difference...
A few minutes later, Ye Zi started telling me how dangerous Xinjiang people are, how they always steal and are extremely violent. I think she saw my skeptical face, because she then hurried to reassure me that only Xinjiang people in Shanghai are dangerous…because a friend of hers went to Xinjiang and said the people there have normal, peaceful lives. Well, imagine that! I tried explaining to her that being a marginalized, underrepresented, poor part of society tends to make people resort to crimes. She insisted Xinjiang people are naturally prone to being criminals and selling drugs because their culture has a problem. At this point, I just turned around and went back to work.
I don't think my coworkers represent all Chinese people. But at this point, I've met so many--dare I say it--ignorant idiots, that I've already lost faith in Chinese opinions about the world. I know this isn't their fault, that their education system has huge, glaring problems, that their culture promotes conformity over creative thinking, etc... but at this point, I prefer American ignorance to Chinese ignorance.
4/10/2010
Chinese wedding games
My Chinese flatmate Paula got married today and the festivities started early in the morning. The cosmetician and all the bridesmaids arrived around 8. Around 10, the people downstairs set off a huge heart shaped "wreath" of firecrackers that lasted for several minutes. This is when the groom started coming up the elevator and the girls, all dressed up, hurried to the front door in anticipation for him to arrive.
Apparently, the tradition is to harrass the groom by giving him tasks to prove his devotion to the bride. The girls first demanded red envelopes before letting the groom in, so the guys outside started stuffing 红包 under the door (I got one too...20 kuai!). But money wasn't enough--after lots of loud negotiating and jokes in Shanghainese, the girls wanted him to do 20 pushups before he could enter. Miles was watching in the hall and said they didn't actually do them, but the guys got to come in, after "pushing" their way in past the girls' barrier.
That was just the front, main door. For the second door to the actual apartment, there were more tasks. All of us were standing in the hallway and just watching the hilarious 热闹. The men had to dance Swan Lake together, and then the groom had to sing 10 songs with the word "云“ in them. He could only think of two, even after checking online on his phone, so he appeased the bridesmaids by stuffing more 红包 under the door. Then he had to think of 20 positive qualities of the bride (respectful to elders, good handwriting!) and say "I love you" in 20 different languages or dialects (somehow bonjour and salut got included). Finally, this door opened...
...and one more door, the one to the bedroom. He had to write 20 promises to the bride (ie make a fortune and stay out at night with the guys for only 2 hours at a time). Finally he was granted access into the bedroom, where he had to find the bride's wedding shoes and put them on for her.
Things finally calmed down, tea was poured, photos taken. The couple was probably exhausted by this point, but they then had to go downstairs to the waiting limo to go to the groom's house for more games. After the ceremony and reception, apparently the friends will follow them back to their house to harrass them some more. Last night Paula told me a wedding is only fun for friends and family, and it definitely seems like it. They looked very happy together though.
Apparently, the tradition is to harrass the groom by giving him tasks to prove his devotion to the bride. The girls first demanded red envelopes before letting the groom in, so the guys outside started stuffing 红包 under the door (I got one too...20 kuai!). But money wasn't enough--after lots of loud negotiating and jokes in Shanghainese, the girls wanted him to do 20 pushups before he could enter. Miles was watching in the hall and said they didn't actually do them, but the guys got to come in, after "pushing" their way in past the girls' barrier.
That was just the front, main door. For the second door to the actual apartment, there were more tasks. All of us were standing in the hallway and just watching the hilarious 热闹. The men had to dance Swan Lake together, and then the groom had to sing 10 songs with the word "云“ in them. He could only think of two, even after checking online on his phone, so he appeased the bridesmaids by stuffing more 红包 under the door. Then he had to think of 20 positive qualities of the bride (respectful to elders, good handwriting!) and say "I love you" in 20 different languages or dialects (somehow bonjour and salut got included). Finally, this door opened...
...and one more door, the one to the bedroom. He had to write 20 promises to the bride (ie make a fortune and stay out at night with the guys for only 2 hours at a time). Finally he was granted access into the bedroom, where he had to find the bride's wedding shoes and put them on for her.
Things finally calmed down, tea was poured, photos taken. The couple was probably exhausted by this point, but they then had to go downstairs to the waiting limo to go to the groom's house for more games. After the ceremony and reception, apparently the friends will follow them back to their house to harrass them some more. Last night Paula told me a wedding is only fun for friends and family, and it definitely seems like it. They looked very happy together though.
3/20/2010
Weekly Report 3: Happy Farm
The reliance on the internet is astonishing here. I know I would find extremely difficult to not go online, as most Americans would too, but for the most part, our hobbies and social lives don’t exist in the virtual realm. For my Chinese workers, their life exists on the internet… one thing especially funny is their obsession with Happy Farm.
Anecdote 1: Xiao Xu is married, and his pregnant wife is in the hospital. He says now that she isn’t home, he’ll go eat fast food and then play computer games the rest of the night. The other coworkers then joked the only difference with her gone was that he no longer ate homemade meals. But apparently they were only half joking. He said today that a normal day for him is to go home, eat dinner with his wife, and then each of them go watch tv or go online until bedtime. Perhaps this is a normal working couple routine, when both people are too tired to do much else, but I start to wonder when a 29 year old man plays WoW or Happy Farm every night instead of hanging out with his wife.
Anecdote 2: During the Suzhou trip, Xiao Hong suddenly exclaimed “Oh no, I forgot!” and hastily pulled out her cell phone to call her husband. I thought she forgot something urgent, but no…she told him she wouldn’t get back until late and asked if he could sign on to her Happy Farm account to collect her vegetables. A 27 year old woman collecting virtual vegetables to sell in her virtual restaurant to cute animated people to make virtual money…to buy more vegetables. When I asked the office what the fuss about it was, they told me it was like Americans with Facebook. Oh and that it’s not just collecting vegetables, you can buy pets and upgrade your restaurant so more customers come!
I don’t know. I haven’t seen this kind of phenomenon in America, where every demographic of the population is obsessed with a game—especially one that looks like it’s meant for elementary school children. I know that sounds really disparaging, but seriously—it’s a brightly colored flash game, with cute animations, simple concept, no real brainpower needed.
Why do Chinese people need Happy Farm? Clearly, it’s all about escapism. The Happy Farm game actually reminds me of Neopets, this cute online game everyone plays when they are 11. Looking back on those days, the best aspect of the game was you had complete control. For an 11 year old, it’s liberating to make all these incredibly important decisions, such as what to feed your pet or what price items in your shop. I think Happy Farm works the same way for Chinese people. After a mind-numbing day at work/school where they are told what to do or force-fed information, it gives them a chance to make money, to make their own decisions (buy a white puppy or new curtains?), and to make friends. The main website is a huge networking website like Facebook, but actually has a lot of functions that work well.
But I think the craze may also be due to a rather juvenile collective mindset. There isn’t a very high level of sophistication in terms of clothes, food, and activities (middle-aged women often dress nauseatingly “fashionably” with ruffles, rhinestones, fur, and stiletto leather boots—all in one outfit.) So Happy Farm is appealing because Chinese people aren’t used to anything more advanced. Sometimes what we need is a brainless, fun game to decompress after a tiring day, but I believe in age-appropriateness for everything.
1/28/2010
Boys and girls
I had an interesting and slightly frustrating conversation with my dad on skype the other day. I was complaining about the visible misogyny in Chinese culture and education system (women PhD students are called "dinosaurs" for god's sake). He then said that Chinese guys aren't all that bad. Sure...they're great for Chinese girls. So then I started complaining about the Chinese girl 撒娇, petulant, little girl behavior that includes high pitched whining, smacking the boyfriend, and generally acting like a 5 year old in order to seem cute and feminine. This is a common phenomenon that us Americans find incredibly annoying.
Anyway, my dad then said it's "a powerful weapon that females use to get things done." Bullshit. It's used by females who don't know how to get things done like a mature adult. His conservative, slightly misogynistic views bother me so much, especially when he starts getting into a woman's "biological purpose in life" and the whole "a man needs to find a good job; a woman needs to find a good husband". I remember being furious when I heard him first say that. I know my dad is coming from a different cultural background...but sorry, he is wrong.
The views on gender in China are still very traditional, despite it being the modern era. I think I made a lot of guys in my studio nervous, although some opened up and were really friendly. But guys and girls don't hang out together too much. This is another reason why I made so few friends in Nanjing. Most of my close friends are male, but I couldn't connect to either gender in China. I found the girls to be overly cutesy and didn't have many shared interests with them. I found the guys to be uninteresting and uninterested in talking to me.
Anyway, my dad then said it's "a powerful weapon that females use to get things done." Bullshit. It's used by females who don't know how to get things done like a mature adult. His conservative, slightly misogynistic views bother me so much, especially when he starts getting into a woman's "biological purpose in life" and the whole "a man needs to find a good job; a woman needs to find a good husband". I remember being furious when I heard him first say that. I know my dad is coming from a different cultural background...but sorry, he is wrong.
The views on gender in China are still very traditional, despite it being the modern era. I think I made a lot of guys in my studio nervous, although some opened up and were really friendly. But guys and girls don't hang out together too much. This is another reason why I made so few friends in Nanjing. Most of my close friends are male, but I couldn't connect to either gender in China. I found the girls to be overly cutesy and didn't have many shared interests with them. I found the guys to be uninteresting and uninterested in talking to me.
1/06/2010
Asking for directions (or just don't bother)
I headed to the post office to pick up a package today. I knew vaguely where it was, but in the end, I had to ask for directions....ugh. I HATE asking for directions in China, and I know most other foreigners do too. A few typical scenarios of direction-asking:
I walk up to a security guard. "Excuse me, is the post office nearby?"
Not looking at me. "No."
"Well...is it farther down the road?"
A yawn. "No it's not over here."
"...is it back towards the Gulou roundabout?"
A head jerk that could have been in that direction. Or just a tic. "Yeah, it's not over here."
I'm starting to lose my patience. "Which street is it on then?"
"Over there towards the roundabout."
By this point I am thoroughly annoyed at how I've wasted 10 seconds of my life, so I just head in the direction I think it is and find it myself.
This kind of behavior is extremely 普遍. As far as I can tell, the behavior doesn't have to do with the person's age, the region, or whether the asking person is a foreigner or Chinese. The situation can be a shopkeeper lounging on a stool in front of her shop, obviously not busy, obviously a native, and be barely acknowledging a request for directions (and oftentimes any other kinds of questions.) It can be a college student walking in the same direction, who points towards the fork in the road and says unhelpfully "That way."
I can only attribute this to culture, even though I'm not sure what aspects of culture have to do with it. Do Chinese not like to give directions? Traditionally, do they think it's rude to ask strangers questions? Do they not know how to give directions? The best guess I can come up with is the Chinese method of describing location is different than how Americans are accustomed to, and also they simply don't see a need to treat strangers warmly.
In the end, I got my package (I thought it was from my sisters, but it was from Edward, so it was a really nice surprise) and took some nice photos of Gulou park area along the way.
- Friendly people who tell you exactly how to get to the location of the place you are looking for. (ok I assume this is a scenario, although it has not happened to me yet)
- Disinterested people who point towards a road and say "not far" or give a time estimate.
- Rude people who don't even look at you while barely pointing in a direction. At worst, they don't acknowledge your question and just impatiently shake their hand "no".
I walk up to a security guard. "Excuse me, is the post office nearby?"
Not looking at me. "No."
"Well...is it farther down the road?"
A yawn. "No it's not over here."
"...is it back towards the Gulou roundabout?"
A head jerk that could have been in that direction. Or just a tic. "Yeah, it's not over here."
I'm starting to lose my patience. "Which street is it on then?"
"Over there towards the roundabout."
By this point I am thoroughly annoyed at how I've wasted 10 seconds of my life, so I just head in the direction I think it is and find it myself.
This kind of behavior is extremely 普遍. As far as I can tell, the behavior doesn't have to do with the person's age, the region, or whether the asking person is a foreigner or Chinese. The situation can be a shopkeeper lounging on a stool in front of her shop, obviously not busy, obviously a native, and be barely acknowledging a request for directions (and oftentimes any other kinds of questions.) It can be a college student walking in the same direction, who points towards the fork in the road and says unhelpfully "That way."
I can only attribute this to culture, even though I'm not sure what aspects of culture have to do with it. Do Chinese not like to give directions? Traditionally, do they think it's rude to ask strangers questions? Do they not know how to give directions? The best guess I can come up with is the Chinese method of describing location is different than how Americans are accustomed to, and also they simply don't see a need to treat strangers warmly.
In the end, I got my package (I thought it was from my sisters, but it was from Edward, so it was a really nice surprise) and took some nice photos of Gulou park area along the way.
12/26/2009
River crab society
Just read about the 11-year sentence of Liu Xiaobo, a human rights activist in China who last year wrote Charter 08, a manifesto calling for greater freedom of expression and democratic reforms.
Out of curiosity, I baidu-ed his name and pulled up some Chinese forums. It seems like Chinese netizens are upset, but in a more resigned way... Most comments said the government is corrupt or poked fun at the idea of "he xie", which means peace and harmony but is also a homophone for river crabs. Some people didn't know who Liu Xiaobo was. But what was most interesting was that some people thought he was a traitor and anti-Chinese. I guess these people make up the 愤青, or angry nationalist youth of China.
I then looked up Charter 08 (but this time in English) and found out that over 8,600 signatures have been gathered in support. While any petition would be happy to get that many participants in the US, 8,600 out of 1.3 billion? Of course, no reasonable Chinese person would be willing to put his/her name down in writing in support of "subverting the Party".
This reminded me of a conversation I had with my media teacher a few days ago. He talked about how Nanjing University's school forum used to be a renowned platform for debating intellectual and political ideas. The reason this was possible was because anonymity was allowed on the forum and many graduates and people from overseas participated. However in 2005, the entire forum was shut down and a new one set up, this one only allowing students. Any posts would be made under your name. That effectively shut down any more political debate. Now the forum is a place to get advice on dating, download movies, and help cheating on exams. The same things happened to Tsinghua and Peking University BBS's.
Sometimes I forget that I live in a repressed society.
"现在这年代，应该是允许有不同的声音和意见，河蟹社会吧！"
Out of curiosity, I baidu-ed his name and pulled up some Chinese forums. It seems like Chinese netizens are upset, but in a more resigned way... Most comments said the government is corrupt or poked fun at the idea of "he xie", which means peace and harmony but is also a homophone for river crabs. Some people didn't know who Liu Xiaobo was. But what was most interesting was that some people thought he was a traitor and anti-Chinese. I guess these people make up the 愤青, or angry nationalist youth of China.
I then looked up Charter 08 (but this time in English) and found out that over 8,600 signatures have been gathered in support. While any petition would be happy to get that many participants in the US, 8,600 out of 1.3 billion? Of course, no reasonable Chinese person would be willing to put his/her name down in writing in support of "subverting the Party".
This reminded me of a conversation I had with my media teacher a few days ago. He talked about how Nanjing University's school forum used to be a renowned platform for debating intellectual and political ideas. The reason this was possible was because anonymity was allowed on the forum and many graduates and people from overseas participated. However in 2005, the entire forum was shut down and a new one set up, this one only allowing students. Any posts would be made under your name. That effectively shut down any more political debate. Now the forum is a place to get advice on dating, download movies, and help cheating on exams. The same things happened to Tsinghua and Peking University BBS's.
Sometimes I forget that I live in a repressed society.
"现在这年代，应该是允许有不同的声音和意见，河蟹社会吧！"
11/28/2009
Making friends?
Finally starting to warm up to all my studio classmates... or more like they are starting to warm up to me. We've had classes together for four months, but no one really talks to the student who speaks broken Chinese--oh wait she's American. But now people will come up and chat and joke around, which makes me really happy! That makes sounds a little pathetic... but it's very difficult breaking into Chinese social circles.
Students have all the same classes with each other and all live together for all years of school. After spending so much time with their class, they even see students from other classes but of another teacher as outsiders. This exclusivity and tightknit bonds are why my dad still keeps in touch with his college and even high school classmates. Some other flagship students were in classes with second and third year grad students, which was probably more difficult than my situation. My class is first year graduate students, but they still had locked down their clique pretty quickly in the beginning of the year... Even though I knew and anticipated this difficulty, it was still discouraging to be that outsider, despite my best efforts to talk to people during studio.
I guess starting relationships takes some time, but Chinese people are actually very 热情, or warm and friendly when that relationship does start.
Anyway, I knew I was accepted when I was invited to go shopping with some of the girls. Was busy that day, but it was a nice gesture.
Students have all the same classes with each other and all live together for all years of school. After spending so much time with their class, they even see students from other classes but of another teacher as outsiders. This exclusivity and tightknit bonds are why my dad still keeps in touch with his college and even high school classmates. Some other flagship students were in classes with second and third year grad students, which was probably more difficult than my situation. My class is first year graduate students, but they still had locked down their clique pretty quickly in the beginning of the year... Even though I knew and anticipated this difficulty, it was still discouraging to be that outsider, despite my best efforts to talk to people during studio.
I guess starting relationships takes some time, but Chinese people are actually very 热情, or warm and friendly when that relationship does start.
Anyway, I knew I was accepted when I was invited to go shopping with some of the girls. Was busy that day, but it was a nice gesture.
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