Conversations with Coworkers

I told my coworkers I'm going to South Korea for the May holiday. Zhou Ying and Ye Zi said I should go to North Korea instead. I reminded them as an American, that is not possible...and besides, I find North Korea to be depressing. Then we had the following conversation:

"Depressing? North Koreans are very happy!"
"…how are they happy? They lead brain-washed lives."
"But they don't know they're brain-washed, so they're happy with what they have. They love their country so much! They're probably happier than we are, because they never have to worry about starving or finding a job or buying a house."
"uh... let's not even go into socialism. But is it true happiness if you're denied the truth? They still have a low quality of life, no matter how much they believe in their Great Leader."
"Well…I think you look at things from an American point of view."
"I look at things from a point of view that values the ability to think for oneself and allows individual freedom. Sure, you can call it American."

To be fair, Shi Xiong was on my side. He is also much older and has studied abroad. Being exposed to foreign cultures and ideas really makes a difference...

A few minutes later, Ye Zi started telling me how dangerous Xinjiang people are, how they always steal and are extremely violent. I think she saw my skeptical face, because she then hurried to reassure me that only Xinjiang people in Shanghai are dangerous…because a friend of hers went to Xinjiang and said the people there have normal, peaceful lives. Well, imagine that! I tried explaining to her that being a marginalized, underrepresented, poor part of society tends to make people resort to crimes. She insisted Xinjiang people are naturally prone to being criminals and selling drugs because their culture has a problem. At this point, I just turned around and went back to work.

I don't think my coworkers represent all Chinese people. But at this point, I've met so many--dare I say it--ignorant idiots, that I've already lost faith in Chinese opinions about the world. I know this isn't their fault, that their education system has huge, glaring problems, that their culture promotes conformity over creative thinking, etc... but at this point, I prefer American ignorance to Chinese ignorance.

Tomb Sweeping Festival weekend

I remember visiting the burial mounds on my dad's side when I was very young. My aunt brought food and had us burn paper money. I didn't really understand what it was all about then...but all my ancestors are up north, so I spent this year's holiday hanging out in Shanghai.

Saturday--I visited the Yu Gardens with Anna and Werner. Beautiful place, but packed full of people.


Lots of detail, even in the roofs.

Afterwards, Michael and I went to "P-yoga" which we quickly discovered meant pilates-yoga...no fun, pilates is painful. Then, delicious vegan dinner at Godly with the flatmates and Jacki.

Sunday--went to the Shanghai Urban Planning Center. This is a cool museum, which shows the past, present, and future of Shanghai. I really like seeing the pictures of old Shanghai, as well as the room size model of the city. There is a special exhibit on the Expo, and as tired as I am of all the Expo propaganda, seeing all the designs and models made me pretty excited to see the real thing.





Then I went to Easter potluck at Susan's place, where I ate too much American food and amazing carrot cake made in a rice cooker.

Monday--we had the day off, so me and the flatmates went to the South Bund fabric market. This place is three stories of tailors and fabric, full of knockoff Burberry coats, traditional Chinese clothes and Versace suits--all custom-made. You bring the tailors a picture of whatever you want, pick a fabric, haggle a price, and the clothes will be done in a week. The boys were very bored...but Anna and I both got a casual qipao made, which I'm excited to see how it turned out. Then at night, went to burger night at Blue Frog Cafe, where I met more of Susan's expat friends.

And today--just got back from a North Korean film festival at Dada Bar, hosted by Koryo Tours. I only stayed for one of the documentaries, The Game of Their Lives, which is about the North Korean soccer team who nearly made it to the finals in the 1966 World Cup. Very interesting.

The bad and the good

Things I am tired of:

• Hour long commutes to work every day.
• The bus driving in the bike lane during rush hour. That means I have to get off in the midst of 50 irate scooter drivers and seriously hope my fate isn't to die meaninglessly in China.
• Rainy days almost every other day. The crappy weather in general. And it's been cold since November, where is spring??
  
• Old women cutting me in line to get on the bus, for the checkout, every conceivable situation where a queue might be needed.
• Coworkers talking about Happy Farm.
• The smiling blue Haibao mascot and its creepy ubiquity...whatever size/material it's made of/outfit it's wearing, I just want to deface them.
  
• Coworkers asking dumb questions about America
• Censorship.
• Coworkers who constantly emphasize which genders should do what activities or have what preferences. For women: driving small Japanese cars, cooking and cleaning, cutesiness. For men: sports, being professors, architectural design.

To balance out the negativity...things I'm happy about

• New gym membership. Do yoga, workout, sit in the sauna.
• My flatmates.
• Mangos everywhere
• I'm sure there are more, but I don't feel like racking my brain to make a fair list.

Three months. There are lot of things I miss.

A few photos

I sometimes help the interior designers do some sketches for the client.


Magnolias are the city flower. For about four days, there were gorgeous white and pink magnolias all over the city, but they're gone now.


Strongbow! It was 25 kuai at City Shop, an overpriced foreign goods store. But if I were rich, I'd shop there too.


On the bus to work today, I saw this great example of worker safety in China.

I've been trying to cook more often, now that I have access to the kitchen. For dinner today, Anna and I made curry with "vegetarian chicken", which is pretty much like very firm tofu. For dessert, I made a mango banana smoothie with some coconut milk.

Homecoming?...

I've been back in Phoenix for about half a week now, and honestly, I have mixed feelings. On one hand, it is wonderful to be in America. The simple fact that I can see the sun makes me unbelievably happy. On the other hand, it also makes me realize two things: how much I've outgrown Phoenix and how much I take for granted.

As I explained to a friend, going to China was like uprooting myself from Phoenix, transferring to a tiny pot in Nanjing and then moving to a huge pot in Shanghai. In a few months, I'll be coming back to a medium pot in Phoenix, but at this point all I want is to be planted in some stable soil. I've been moving around so much and my ideas about the future have changed as well. I have no desire or motivation to finish my business management degree, because it seems so trivial at this point. But not finishing it really isn't an option either...

As for my second realization, there are so many mundane things here that I'm not used to. I went to Fry's and for half a minute, just looked up and down an entire aisle of jam--different brands, flavors, sizes, prices. I went to Cartel for some coffee and was amazed at how friendly and polite the strangers were. I climbed A mountain and for the first time in 8 months, watched the sun set. My bed is so soft. There are fat people everywhere. I didn't know I would have reverse culture shock.

Despite the rush of uncertainties, it is nice to relax and go back to a normal eating/sleeping schedule. I've been enjoying time with friends and family, as well as eating plenty of Mexican food and cheese products. Today we are having a Chinese New Year's potluck, so it's time to make some dumplings...I'm looking forward to the turkey though, since I missed it for Thanksgiving!

Shanghai life

Phase 2 of China: Internship in Shanghai.

Moved to Shanghai on Tuesday. Thanks to Miles and his apartment search, I am living in a studio-ish apartment--basically a 25 sq. meter bedroom with a shared kitchen and bathroom. We are literally next door neighbors. Our complex is just a few minutes walk from the city center and the environment is pretty nice. My flatmates are German, Swiss, Australian, and Chinese, and they seem friendly so far.

I definitely feel like I am living in a big international city. I see foreigners everywhere, places are cleaner, Starbucks every square kilometer. But of course you still have the Chinese 特征: construction everywhere, spit on the ground, jaywalking at every corner. It's a change from Nanjing, which although crowded, was still relatively quiet and "traditional" China. Hopefully these next few months I can find my own niche here and make friends.

Time to think

After a frantic last week in Nanjing where I slept 4 hours a day because I simply didn't have time, I got on the train with my worldly possessions and headed to Qingdao for internship training. Or so I thought....Our days are tightly scheduled, with 3 hour lectures in the morning and 3 hour Peking opera classes in the afternoon. We are putting on a Peking opera show on Sunday...and the justification for this being part of workplace training is "playing and negotiating with roles embedded with assumptions and expectations independent from the actor's preference". Right... I am learning a song and dance but do not see how that'll help me be a better intern. There are other pointless events in disguise. The first night we had a dinner to learn Chinese dinner etiquette and of course, all the non-Mormon guys left drunk. Mark was especially terrible. I got picked up and carried by each of the ASU guys (obviously minus Aaron) at different points during the night, so it was test of patience...

It'd be nice if we had more free time, since the lectures scheduled haven't been very helpful and the opera classes are really pointless. But this is just one more thing on a long, long list of things that flagship has failed to deliver. At least the hotel is really nice and is part of the same building as the flagship office. And there is central heating which is amazing. It's also nice to not have real homework and just be able to sit, watch a movie, read some news, think....

I stayed in the hotel tonight and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Really enjoyed the story and the actors' performances. I like the idea that you can attracted to someone for some reason and always will be (that doesn't mean I believe in "the one", just that a certain combination of qualities will always make a person attractive). It also makes me recall the events in my life that were once painful but have slowly faded into vague memories that I occasionally still dream about. It also makes me think about the Clementinesque guys I've dated or have been attracted to. But opposites don't always work.

Priorities

One presentation, two papers, and one architecture review.

FIND INTERNSHIP

Make my way through all of Hayao Miyazaki's films on my hard drive.

Clean and pack. ugh.......




Go home.

Two weeks left

After leaving studio tonight, I stopped by the Suguo supermarket to pick up some groceries. Like usual, the store was packed, both with shoppers and workers. Salesgirls in "cute" outfits, yelling at people to try their samples. Clumps of employees in every aisle, gossiping loudly. Tired-looking people, rifling through bins of end-of-season tangerines, staring at shelves of cooking oil, squabbling about which noodles are a better deal. Wondergirls CD blaring overhead. I'm standing in the world's slowest line, insignificant amongst a sea of impatient people.

Andre sometimes jokes around about him dying in his apartment and no one knowing about it or how to find him. I admit, that thought has crossed my mind too. When I go entire weekends without seeing or talking to another human being, in my weak moments, I wonder if this is my future.

I just realized today how soon it'll be before I pack up my bags (now much, much heavier), wrestle them to and from train stations, and settle into a new apartment in a new city with new goals. I never fell in love with Nanjing, so it's gladness/indifference I feel about switching to another city. I did have a lot of fun here with friends though.

But it almost feels like I am running out of time. Within the next two weeks, I have papers, presentations, tests, and final review. Then move out, go to Qingdao, internship training, move to another city.

It's snowing again today.

2% of my life has now been spent in China

I’ve been here almost six months now. I get along fine most of the time, but occasionally melancholy hits hard and the people I’d normally call up to chat with are on the other side of the world. So I end up wasting large amounts of time on my computer because I can’t summon the energy to do real work, which of course only comes back to bite me in the ass later. I have three end of the term papers to write within three weeks, which normally wouldn’t faze me in English, but in Chinese, my cognitive and writing abilities are reduced to that of a Chinese fourth grader. Or maybe a really good third grader.

No word from any employers or Jian laoshi about internships. If I get stuck with a lame internship where I don’t even get to draft but just make copies then… I don’t know. I've wasted that 2%.

Decided to start a blog, mostly for myself. I've kept a journal for 10 years now, but recently haven't had the time or motivation to write in it. Blogging is probably easier and faster, and anyone who is interested enough in my life could read this instead of me emailing (the weird time warp phenomenom due to the International Date Line results in me replying to emails....2 weeks late.)

China has been...alright. I have fun with friends, but also get stressed out and frustrated by school and society. I think if I spoke less Chinese and cared less about working here, I would enjoy it more. As it is, I'm learning how to deal with the oftentimes uncomfortable position of an ABC who understands both cultures.