Slaughterhouse and donuts

I've been making some good friends with my flatmates. Michael is Swiss and is teaching me French. Thanks to Spanish and English, I can already have basic conversations. Anna is Austrian and she is helping Miles learn some German. Between the four of us, we speak 8 languages so we have fun language exchange nights.

This past weekend was the first weekend without rain, so all decided to go and check out a few sights. First was lunch at Zhapu Lu, one of Shanghai's famous food streets. Everything was covered in bamboo scaffolding, and I assume the entire area is getting a makeover for the Expo. Since Anna is vegan, we went to a vegan restaurant that turned out to be a little disappointing...still fun to walk around though.

I've seen the Chinese Colonel Sanders, but this is the first time I've seen a Chinese Mrs. Colonel Sanders.

We then walked over to 1933 district to check out the Old Millfun, which used to be one of the biggest slaughterhouses in the world. Now it is a high-end shopping mall with American Apparel, cafes, and "Fever Parties". The architecture is fascinating and beautiful--everything is little oppressive, with dark gray concrete and very little sunlight. In the main atrium, winding ramps and narrow stairs criss-cross without any obvious pattern. It feels a little like being in an anthill. Add the fact that cows used to be slaughtered there and you get a slightly creepy vibe. The place was not designed for people, but I love that it's been restored instead of 拆－ed.

Observatory deck with a glass floor.







The first time I went, the place hadn't officially opened yet and it was also nighttime so everything was dark, empty, and wonderfully creepy. This time, the place was crawling with people and there were small shops everywhere. I kinda like the abandoned feeling better. But we happened to come across the monthly flea market where we bought a few trinkets.

Handmade ring and necklace

Afterwards, we all went to Krispy Kreme for some coffee and sugary, fatty goodness. Pretty good day.

Long days

Get up at 7:30, leave at 8:30. Work from 9:30 to 18:00. Get home at 19:00. It’s incredibly tiring, even if I don’t do much at work. The long travel time really takes a lot out of me, and the terrible weather this past week is draining—I think it’s because I spend so much energy shivering at the office.

I’m also getting used to the city. Since I have a few bus options to take to work, I’m learning all the streets, at least between People’s Square and Xujiahui.

I often feel alienated in such a huge city, but it’s not always a bad feeling. Sometimes, it’s almost liberating, to feel like nothing. I was walking home last night from the bus stop and was overcome by a strange sense of solitude. I’m not sure how to describe it, but I felt as if I understood everything around me and was therefore absolutely disconnected from the world. For some reason, I wanted to die... It sounds morbid and depressing yet I was feeling neither. I was a little surprised by my own strong urge for everything to just end, but in that moment, it was almost euphoric. I wanted to just keep walking.

Instead, I went home and had noodles for dinner.

Weekly Report 1: Stranger in the workplace

We have to keep a weekly report for an online class. Might as well throw it on here. I usually write an outline first in English, but this is the slightly fleshed-out version.

The first day in the office was incredibly awkward, for me and I think for everyone. First of all, the boss wasn't there, which left everyone else to figure out what to do with me, even though they didn't know either. One of the editors was the only one who welcomed me, cleared a desk for me, and gave me some magazine to flip through. The four other people looked at this strange, inexperienced, Chinese-American, and then turned back to their computer screens. I asked for everyone's names, which they gave briefly before continuing their MSN chats. The general feeling I got was disinterest.

At first, I was bothered by the cold welcome. But then I remembered my initial experiences with taking classes at Nanjing University, and how it took many weeks before people began talking to me as a peer. Americans are used to self-introductions and a handshake, or at the very least say hello. However, Chinese people definitely have a strong us-them mentality and a stranger in the workplace is someone that no one has any relationships with and therefore no obligations to. Until I establish my place as one of the group, things will be uncomfortable and coworkers will seem unfriendly.

A week after starting, one of my coworkers now chats with me occasionally. Of course, he is very Chinese male (not even going to get into that...other than he is a perfect example of Chinese misogyny) but it is good to not be ignored.

New internship

Back in Shanghai after an amazing break at home. It went by so quickly that it doesn't even seem like I left China. It's been raining nonstop the past week and will until the next week. What's worse, 梅雨季节 or plum rain season will soon be coming up. I've been told it'll rain continuously all of June and July. Good thing I'll be out of here in July!

My apartment:


But the important news, I am now working two internships. I found an architecture one with the help of a family friend, and so far I really like it. The boss is incredibly nice, the coworkers are friendly and talkative, and the work is interesting. I've never been told to design a Suzhou garden luxury villa before, but I am doing my best... the first day I just worked on conceptual sketches. It seems like they expect a lot of me, and with my obsessive need to excel in everything, I am really nervous.

Yesterday, the boss, two coworkers and I went to Suzhou to see the site. Our luck was off the whole day. The rain didn't let up for a second and it was freezing cold. Since I lost my toenail over the break (long story), I was wearing sandals which turned out to be a terrible idea...the site is basically undeveloped farm land with dirt roads, so I was running around in muddy fields all day. We got stuck in the mud for a bit when our boss tried to drive on a dirt road...poor Xiao Xu was covered in yellow mud.


We snuck into a construction site nearby. I guess this is the style we're going for--modern-day traditional Chinese.

We didn't get many good pictures because of the weather so the trip wasn't really worth it. What really made the day terrible was the 2.5 hour drive back turned into 5 hours. Half of that time was spent on a 10 km stretch of the freeway, where there was an nasty, inexplicable traffic jam.

I have a bit of work to do for the magazine this weekend. Have to research "overseas Chinese" architects for them to interview, which doesn't really make sense to me... they don't care if the architects are third-generation and/or have never been to China. They told me because they have a Chinese ancestry we want to include them in our magazine. This is such a Chinese mentality---once Chinese, always Chinese.

No problem

I was definitely in a weird, gloomy mood towards the end of last semester. School was a drag, I had concerns about the internship, I missed the States incredibly, and I was bummed at the thought of 4 more years of school (one year undergrad, 3 years graduate). Basically I felt everything had stalled.

Being home for a week with plenty of time to think has helped me a lot. One thing that had bothered me was the idea of working my way up the ranks within an architecture firm. The lack of independence and control goes against my nature. But I know there are a lot of things to learn when I start working. Architecture is a field where experience almost matters more than education, and a humble start is something every architect goes through.

Another thing I've realized there is no ideal job. Maybe a rather obvious observation...but throughout my life, I've basically heard two mantras: "Follow your dreams and do what makes you happy" and "Every job will become boring, even if you try to follow your dreams" (guess which one is my dad's favorite saying). But I don't think there is one or the other. I don't believe in the "ideal person" so why do people stress about the "ideal job"? It's just a matter of matching up your interests as much as possible and working through any difficulties.

So I will be going back to Shanghai with more optimism. The assignment I got from the office over break is a little tedious, but it's allowing me to read about a lot of architects I didn't know about. I'm still looking for another job and have plans to volunteer if that falls through. Four more months of (relative) freedom to explore and work on my own projects. I'm pretty lucky.

America, pleased to make your reacquantaince

After a few days of uncomfortable "what the hell am I doing here?", I am so happy to be home. Of course, home is more like "home" since I know I am moving on away from Phoenix soon, but life is great right now.

I'm really looking forward to summer. Hot, dry, and miserable, I don't mind at all. I always love it when the seasons change, even when I want to die in a puddle of sweat. Also, summer this year means an end to the Flagship chapter that has been my life for the past two years and a beginning of a new phase.

Homecoming?...

I've been back in Phoenix for about half a week now, and honestly, I have mixed feelings. On one hand, it is wonderful to be in America. The simple fact that I can see the sun makes me unbelievably happy. On the other hand, it also makes me realize two things: how much I've outgrown Phoenix and how much I take for granted.

As I explained to a friend, going to China was like uprooting myself from Phoenix, transferring to a tiny pot in Nanjing and then moving to a huge pot in Shanghai. In a few months, I'll be coming back to a medium pot in Phoenix, but at this point all I want is to be planted in some stable soil. I've been moving around so much and my ideas about the future have changed as well. I have no desire or motivation to finish my business management degree, because it seems so trivial at this point. But not finishing it really isn't an option either...

As for my second realization, there are so many mundane things here that I'm not used to. I went to Fry's and for half a minute, just looked up and down an entire aisle of jam--different brands, flavors, sizes, prices. I went to Cartel for some coffee and was amazed at how friendly and polite the strangers were. I climbed A mountain and for the first time in 8 months, watched the sun set. My bed is so soft. There are fat people everywhere. I didn't know I would have reverse culture shock.

Despite the rush of uncertainties, it is nice to relax and go back to a normal eating/sleeping schedule. I've been enjoying time with friends and family, as well as eating plenty of Mexican food and cheese products. Today we are having a Chinese New Year's potluck, so it's time to make some dumplings...I'm looking forward to the turkey though, since I missed it for Thanksgiving!

回家

I leave for the airport in half an hour to go back to AZ for a few weeks. Carrie promised me a Filiberto's carne asada burrito with guacamole upon arrival. I'm probably more excited for that than anything else... I also can't wait for unrestricted internet. And a soft bed! My parents don't know I'm visiting (although apparently my dad caught a glimpse of the emails between me and my sisters...they tried to cover it up though.) Seriously, I'm so happy to take a break from China.

I get back to China the morning of March 1st. The office doesn't really care that I'm gone so long, haha. That means I don't either.

Day 1 at Designer and Designing

I went to work today.

Well, I am using the term "work" loosely...more specifically, I sat around for 5 hours on my computer, flipping through magazines and reading stuff online. When I met the chief editor yesterday, she didn't know who I was or what program I am coming from. (hmm Jian laoshi, how are you doing your job?...) She also clearly didn't know what work I should do and just told me to "participate". The other editors don't know what to do with me either, so they cleared a desk for me and told me to continue reading to familiarize myself with their magazine.

They had their workplace Chinese New Year lunch today. Free food that included cold kidneys and papaya steamed with frog ovaries. Surprisingly delicious? The boss passed out 红包 and I got one too, despite not having done any work yet.

But I found out how I got this internship. Turns out one of the old interns, Jessie, was once Jian laoshi's student in Shanghai, and she also did research at the same center an OSU flagship student did last semester. Jessie was the one who got me the position, because obviously the boss had nothing to do with it. And Jian laoshi then tried to sell me on how amazing being assistant editor to the magazine would be...hahaha. The employees today were talking about architectural magazines. Xiao Yu made the analogy of El Croquis being what a graduate student would read--and Designer and Designing what an elementary student would read.

Since there is nothing for me to do, I've set a few goals for myself. Learn how to use Adobe Flash and Dreamweaver. Redo the magazine's website (this may be a little ambitious, but I have 4 months). Start research for my honors thesis. Do a lot of reading on architecture.

Still, I really wish I was doing architecture work, even if it's just drafting, because I know at an architecture firm I would actually be useful and valued. Here I may just end up wasting table space.

Shanghai life

Phase 2 of China: Internship in Shanghai.

Moved to Shanghai on Tuesday. Thanks to Miles and his apartment search, I am living in a studio-ish apartment--basically a 25 sq. meter bedroom with a shared kitchen and bathroom. We are literally next door neighbors. Our complex is just a few minutes walk from the city center and the environment is pretty nice. My flatmates are German, Swiss, Australian, and Chinese, and they seem friendly so far.

I definitely feel like I am living in a big international city. I see foreigners everywhere, places are cleaner, Starbucks every square kilometer. But of course you still have the Chinese 特征: construction everywhere, spit on the ground, jaywalking at every corner. It's a change from Nanjing, which although crowded, was still relatively quiet and "traditional" China. Hopefully these next few months I can find my own niche here and make friends.