It's been a few weeks since school started and I've been having fun living with the boys. H leaves this weekend back to Cali and he was talking about how weird it'd be to start a new phase of life. It reminded me of how I felt during my last week in China, when I could barely stand to think about my imminent displacement. Being uprooted isn't a nice feeling and I think I mostly tried to feel neutral in order to avoid feeling sad.

I miss China and the life I had there. Day to day life was my most important concern...I guess that's what it means to "live in the present".

And now, my present consists of two jobs, long class hours, graduate school plans, and wondering what makes me happy. I'm not unhappy, but the sense of being totally adrift has not gone away.

-

Three years ago I had the most bittersweet summer ever. I remember him telling me he was excited to see what kind of person I'd be in the future. Now three years later, I'm the same age as he was when he died and I have no idea what kind of person I should be.

Growing up is about having different experiences, both good and bad, and learning from them. But it seems like having more experience doesn't necessarily prepare you for the future, especially when it comes to emotions. Painful situations are still painful, even when you have reason and previous experience on your side.

Home is... oh who the hell knows

After returning to Shanghai, I had one week before heading back to Phoenix, and it flew by in such a blur. I honestly wasn't mentally ready to leave. I've come to the opinion that the problem with plane travel is that there'e no "travel" involved--one minute, I'm in an air-conditioned airport in Shanghai, listening to Chinese chatter. A few (well, 11) hours later, I'm in an air-conditioned airport in Vancouver, surrounded by English. Very disorienting.

Overall I am glad to be home, although all those pesky things I've put off thinking about while in China have all leapt up on me. I have mini panic attacks when I do grad school research--there are so many things to think about and consider, like applications, GREs, funding, worry about my own qualifications and/or lack thereof. Then there is the usual parental pressure which makes things even harder. I almost want to just work instead or move to a third world country where no one can trace me. But immediate concerns are finding a place to live (thank goodness I already have two great friends to be roommates with) and finding a job for this year.

In high school, I decided to study architecture only in my last year. I don't remember what it felt like to make that decision against my parents' very strong wishes for me to go into medicine/engineering/something befitting a star Chinese-American pupil. Was I merely rebelliously defiant? Mostly apprehensive? I've completely fallen off the ambitious, self-glorifying track but I'm not sure where to get back on. Join the ranks of Starbucks baristas? They sure seem happy about working there... I don't think I've lowered my standards of success, but rather I just see success differently now.

Sabaidy...

is hello in Lao! Luang Prabang is a small, quaint, laid-back town that's full of Buddhist monks and French baguettes. Even though tourism is growing quickly there, there is still a relaxed atmosphere that is very different from Thailand and Cambodia; no tuk-tuk drivers hassliing you, no bedraggled children tugging on your sleeve pitifully, no vendors constantly calling out "Lady lady, look look!" The two days I spent there were the best part of my trip in every sense.

The town is a UNESCO World Heritage site for its mixed cultural traditions, and the fusion of French and Lao culture produces some amazing things. The National Museum is in the French Beaux Arts style, but is full of Lao motifs. Sandwich carts sell Lao style sandwiches on fresh baguettes. There is such wonderful thing as a banana expresso smoothie. I spent most of my time traveling with Paran, a Sri Lankan Australian guy who was chief navigator (very fortunate for me, I have an atrocious sense for directions) and together we toured the town and had tons of Lao food. I felt like a lot of the food was just like Chinese stir fry, with slightly different flavors, but there are a few unique dishes: laap, which is kinda like cooked ceviche with fresh bean sprouts; Mekong riverweed chips, seasoned with sesame seeds and garlic; fish steamed in a banana leaf with dill; and traditional Lao sticky rice, which is eaten with the hands and magically only sticks to itself but not to you. But seriously, a third of our diet consisted of strong Lao coffee and fresh fruit shakes with condensed milk, both equally addicting.

In the morning we would watch the hundreds of monks walking through the streets collecting alms. After several hours of wat-hopping, we'd take a long, long lunch break and wait the midday heat out at Utopia, a utopic cafe built on a bamboo platform over the Mekong River. At night, after a 10,000 kip ($1.25) all you can eat street food meal, we would go to the night market, which is probably the most laidback market in the world...it seems like vendors really don't care if you buy anything, which makes souvenir shopping actually pleasant. Then back to the hostel to watch the World Cup with an ice cold Beerlao and to chat with the young staff who are trying to improve their English. We also went to see the Kuang Si waterfall park nearby, but most of the time we just relaxed and did nothing...a perfect vacation.

The capital Vientiane is quite boring in comparison, since it's in the awkward stage of not quite a big city, although the international food scene there is amazing. I'm all about eating local food, but I decided to splurge ($5) at a French restaurant and I do not regret it. After an uneventful half day there, I took a 13 hour overnight bus to Bangkok and saw a few more sights, some not worth seeing. Khao San road was awful, full of drunk tourists and annoying vendors. I was too cheap to pay 350 baht for the royal palace, but I really enjoyed Jim Thompson's House Museum. He was an American architect who was in the CIA, fell in love with Thailand while stationed there, revived its silk industry, built an amazing traditional teakwood house, and then one day just disappeared in Malaysia and was never found.

On the bus ride from Luang Prabang to Vientiane, I was reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and I came across the line "Sometimes it's a little better to travel than to arrive". At the time I didn't appreciate the statement; it was an excruciatingly slow 12 hour ride on winding mountain roads with poor AC and broken seats, as well as 30 obnoxious British backpackers. But there really is something addictive about traveling, about following your progress on a map and watching the scenery slowly change outside your window. Already I'm planning my next trip, any suggestions are welcome.

Angkor Wat/another overland border crossing

After three days of Angkor temples, Lee, Lisa and I took a long bus ride to Phnom Penh. They had an old classmate there who is working at an NGO, as seem to be all the expats in Cambodia. Even though it's exciting to get lost in a new city, it's also nice to be with someone who knows the place and what's fun about it. Shannon took us to a nice vegan Khmer restaurant, and we had some amazing curries and stir-fries.

But overall for me, Phnom Penh was a rather depressing trip. I visited the S-21 museum the first afternoon. It used to be a school, but during the Khmer Rouge's deranged regime, it was turned into a prison and interrogation center for intellectuals, monks, children, Vietnamese, and later on even the party's own members. In many ways, I was more touched than when I saw the Nanjing massacre museum--or at the very least, more chilled. Rusty beds and ankle shackles are still in the classrooms. The officials kept meticulous records of all their 20,000 prisoners, and their severe, black and white headshots are on exhibit in mind-numbing rows. I'm by no means superstitious, but when I walked through the hallways of tiny, brick cells, I felt as if there are ghosts there. One point of controversy for the survivors' families is that the remains at Choeung Ek (the killing fields) are either memorialized in a stupa or are still buried---Buddhist traditions call for cremation so that souls may be at rest. The killing fields were also very depressing to visit, but the grassy fields are much less jarring than the prison.

Sadness aside, Phnom Penh was actually a very nice city, despite the massive amounts of construction and car exhaust. I suppose that's the price of modernization. I would have liked to do a cyclo architecture tour and learn more about the French history as well as the New Khmer Architecture movement, but my itinerary was relentless...bus to Pakse, Laos and then plane to Luang Prabang.

___________________

I want to describe the border crossing, since I had some trouble finding information on this online and maybe this can help other travelers. As of this year, VOA for overland crossings is available for the Cambodia-Laos crossing--you do not need to get a visa in Phnom Penh, unless you just want the extra peace of mind. I took a 12 hour bus from Phnom Penh to Pakse with Soray Transport for $26, which seems to be the only transportation option. The first travel place told me there was a 9 hour minibus, but upon further inquiry, it was no longer in service and 9 hours would have been impossible anyway.

The ride was uneventful, up until we got close to the border. The Sorya bus guy told us we would all have to pay $1 on the Cambodian side and $2 on the Laos side for fees--but he would take care of everything for us if we gave him just $1 more. Everyone just ignored him, which was good because it turned out that the border crossing is incredibly easy. Pay $1 for who knows what at the Cambodian side, get some stamps. Walk maybe 30 meters to the Laos side. Pay for your visa and $1 for overtime at the first window. Walk to the next window and pay another $1 overtime fee to get your passport back. All the overtime fees are BS, since there's no way you can possibly get to the border before 4 PM, but it's not worth the arguing to get out of it, because the guards won't budge.

By the time we got to Pakse exactly 12 hours after starting, it was dark and pouring rain. I paid $3 for a tuk-tuk ride to a hostel, and then left the next day for Luang Prabang. Not much to do in Pakse.

Bangkok to Angkor Wat

I got to Bangkok the 17th and stayed 2 days, but honestly I didn't do all that much. I felt like it's a great city if you like shopping, drinking or lady boys, but those aren't exactly my favorite pursuits... The highlight for me was Wat Pho. The day I went, there were hardly any visitors so I just wandered around the maze of courtyards. Eventually I got to the sanctuary with the world's biggest reclining Buddha, a giant, gold-leafed Buddha with a cheeky grin. You can pay 20 baht for a bowl of little coins, which you drop one by one into a row of about 50 pots all along the wall. Throughout the whole temple you can hear the "plink plink" sound of coins.

I got to Cambodia 3 days later and my first impression wasn't great. The border crossing town Poipet is basically a crappy version of Las Vegas, and everywhere people are trying their hardest to scam you. It was really difficult to know who to trust, but thankfully I had met two Italian guys (Marco and Paolo) on the bus over, so we stuck together and managed to get through. We couldn't get out of the 100 baht ""processing fee" though... Also the 34 C weather and 60% humidity made me want to lie down in an ice bath and die. By the time I actually got to Siem Reap (the town right by Angkor Wat), I was hot, cranky, and exhausted.

However, I ended up really enjoying the place. I met up with a flagship friend and his fiance, and we were temple trekking every day. The Angkor temples are beautiful, and even though I've gotten all the names mixed up, I have a lot of photos of intricate stone carvings, weathered stone faces, and jungle trees splitting apart entire stone foundations. Other than the incredible heat, I enjoyed every minute and even gotten used to being constantly sweaty and covered with red dust. The pace of life is very slow, and I miss the midday naps, reading during the afternoon rainstorms and 50 cent banana pancakes at night.

Two weeks of travel

I'm in Bangkok at the moment, but am still recovering from a strenuous 40 km hike up and down Huangshan over the weekend. Tomorrow I head to Siem Reap, Cambodia to see Angkor Wat. I will update with pictures once I get back to Shanghai!

Off to see some architecture!

JIanyeli renovation project

My research paper is on the reconstruction/deconstruction of Shanghai's historic architecture. After several months of research, I've come to see how many issues are involved that go beyond the aesthetics of architecture: economic development, urban planning, politics, social spaces, citizens' rights, city image, etc. Being able to witness all of this firsthand has been extremely valuable.

I cam across an interesting case study of Jianyeli the other day. I pass by this neighborhood--or rather, construction lot walled off with Expo propaganda signs--every day on the way home from work. Like so many other renovation projects in Shanghai, this used to be an old shikumen neighborhood that was way overcrowded...and in a good city location. The residents were relocated and all the buildings knocked down. New buildings are being built that will, according to the giant posters, "restore Shikumen to its natural beauty". Population density will be lower, living conditions will be nicer, people will make money. Very typical story.

But until I read this study, I wasn't aware of how 不合理, or inappropriate, resident relocation can be. I am well aware of the stories of "nail houses", where residents refuse to leave their homes because of inadequate compensation and the developers end up dragging them away and bulldozing their houses down. Still, I was surprised at the underhanded methods the Xuhui district displacement company used to get rid of residents. The company had apparently run out of money for displacement and many stubborn residents were still living in their apartments. So the company hired 200 migrant workers to help get rid of them.

"The population of the lilong then divided into three groups: the recalcitrant residents, the workers carrying out the demolition, and the employees of the hoodlum company. The task of the latter, who earn a good salary—50 yuan a day—was for the time being to make the residents' life impossible by frightening and mistreating them."

The migrant workers were instructed to make noises and disturbances and generally bother the residents as much as possible. Many of the residents ended up moving out, after which the "hoodlum company" began to vandalize, steal and get violent. The district mayor met with the residents to hear their complaints, but did nothing to stop the displacement company.

The end of the story is clear when you see Jianyeli--the neighborhood is gone. Somewhere in the suburbs of Shanghai, there are bitter citizens who have received (some) monetary compensation for their forced relocation, but have undoubtedly lost all faith in their government. I don't know enough about the political environment in Shanghai, but the people's opinion matters only when it suits the government. It's hard to weigh the pros and cons of such land developments, but it's clear that only tangible benefits have value at the present. And for the time being, Chinese people are too afraid (or maybe just apathetic) to change this status quo. While the issue of eminent domain in the States can be incredibly tiring, I find it preferable to the lack of legitimacy that exists in China.

For anyone interested in reading the essay:
http://chinaperspectives.revues.org/document459.html

Expo part 3: Magazine photography

After a full day at the Expo on Friday, I had to go back the next morning for work. The magazine's next issue is on the Expo, so I had to accompany the photographer to take photos of 45 of the pavilions.

Saturday's attendance hit a new record of over 500,000 people. There really wasn't any point in taking pictures, because there were just way too many people. The loudspeakers kept broadcasting wait times for the popular pavilions (4+ hours for Japan and US, 3+ hours for France and Germany, etc...). The European Square was especially insane. Even the wheelchair line for the Korean pavilion stretched around the block. Imagine if you can: several hundred thousand Chinese people, all doing Chinese things. Snacking on KFC, duck hearts or cucumbers; taking victory pose photos; napping on all of the benches; running towards the hybrid buses that are already packed to maximum capacity.

I don't know how the Expo workers do it. Gao laoshi and I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, but I did get to see the Asian and Middle East pavilions, which we didn't do on Friday. We did our best with photos, despite all the people, and now I have a picture of almost every single pavilion...

Some of my favorites (at least the outside, didn't have time to visit the inside). First, the good:

Angola.

South Korea. Their hangul theme was beautifully successful.

UAE. I don't always like Norman Foster, but this one I did.


The bad:
Belarus. This is what you literally get if you give 100 children crayons and told them to draw on a building. Literally.

Pakistan. It's simply a replica of the Lahore Fort. You can't tell here, but the top of the building is a giant Pakistani flag.


And the inexplicable:
Macau. Giant bunny lantern. The architect says it represents childhood memories and Macau's small size but lively spirit. Ok.

Iran. I looked up the English phrase and apparently it's a Persian poem by Saadi. But the English translation...

North Korea. Whoever placed this next to Iran must have a sense of humor...all the other Asian countries are in an entirely different zone.

Expo part 2: All day, everyday...

I have become a huge Expo nerd. I read about it on blogs, follow Expo news, and this whole past week at the magazine office, I've been researching the Asian/Middle Eastern pavilions for our next issue. I know all sorts of random facts about the buildings, architects and about Haibao (the official story is actually a lie, I met a close friend of the designer of the mascot who told me about the original design). I see the event as just a huge branding opportunity for countries, while their talk of "sustainability" and "better life" is mostly just talk. Still, the buildings and designs are why I have spent 20+ hours there already.

My two lovely flagship friends from Nanjing were in town this weekend, so we went to the Expo on Friday. The weather was terrible--grey skies and constant drizzling--but it was perfect for Expo visiting since the crowds weren't too terrible (only 382,100 people!) We were naive enough to think that we could visit the China pavilion...but upon arrival we learned that reservation tickets start at 7 AM and are always out by the time the gates open at 9. We had to be satisfied with taking photos of the enormous red structure from afar.

To avoid the long lines and the inevitable queue rage, we visited not so popular pavilions, like New Zealand, Cambodia, Columbia, and the Caribbean joint pavilions. While none of those were particularly exciting, it was still nice to catch a glimpse of what those countries are about...that is, if you look past the 3D movie hype and ubiquitous claims about sustainability.

We did wait in fairly long lines for Spain, Denmark, and Mexico. We didn't wait at all for Peru, since we told the guard we wanted to eat the restaurant and he just let us right in (expensive food but so delicious). At night, Kamla and Melody went off to see the US pavilion, while Michael and I did France, Switzerland and Australia in record time.

Some photos:
China.

Denmark. The Little Mermaid statue from Copenhagen.

Spain. We waited more than an hour for this one and it was worth it for the giant robot baby that cried bubbles and smiled. Uncanny valley, seriously.

Trash in the French line... trash everywhere.

Switzerland. Michael got us in, because il est Suiss. He couldn't stop laughing at this guy though, because he's apparently so typical Swiss.

Australia. The best Expo movie experience, I highly recommend it.

Japanese corporate pavilion. "Hello, we have Hello Kitty for sale!"

We were so beat by the time we finally got home. And I had to get up early the next day...to go back to the Expo for work.

"City Management"

Chengguan literally means "city management". The chengguan are basically officials who are in charge of cleaning up the city image, cracking down on unlicensed street vendors, etc. They are also notorious for being extremely violent. I've heard about how violent and brutal these guys can be, but the following incident really makes me 难过.

Du Wei and Pepe told us about the 城管 incident they witnessed on Sunday night. They were walking on Nanjing Xi Lu, when a chengguan car pulled up. Five officials jumped out, grabbed a fruit vendor, pinned him against the wall and started violently beating him. One of the officials picked up his baskets of lychee and yangmei and threw them all over the street. The vendor was begging for them to stop, saying that it's his 饭钱 (livelihood) but the officials only beat him harder. Pepe recorded part of this on his phone and it was sickening to watch.

If that wasn't bad enough, people started coming out of the nearby shops and restaurants to 看热闹 (see the commotion, a Chinese favorite pastime). The crowd began picking up the lychee, peeling it and eating the fruit as they watched the vendor beg on his knees. Other people grabbed the yangmei, took them into their shops to wash them--and then came back out to watch while munching on the expensive fruit. Pepe and Du Wei were livid, but didn't know what to do.

The state media downplays the whole "city management officials" issue, but the truth is, the government doesn't want peddlers and vendors on its streets so management officials will continue to act with impunity. Recently Nanjing set down new disciplinary rules for chengguan, but I doubt they will be effective any time soon. They already have such a negative public image that even if they are properly trained and act civilly, people will still side with the vendors.

My neighborhood is devoid of those unofficial night markets, places where people hang out and snack on skewers, places that are social and Chinese. I still remember 3 years ago, us American students would go out for midnight snacks at the stir-fry noodle carts or spicy skewer stands and hang out with locals in their matching pajama sets. A few months before the Expo, we used to buy "fake" books on Wujiang Lu. Those peddlers were giving out their numbers so they could continue to sell from their homes during the crackdown period. But what can fruit peddlers do?

Everyday everywhere, I see the Expo slogan "Better city, better life". But what measures are you allowed to take to make a city better? And whose life is being improved?

Expo part 1

Last night, the Europeans and I went to check out the Expo, since there are discounted tickets starting at 4 PM. Anna and Werner wanted to see a Swedish band playing at the Europe Square and I just wanted to see the buildings.

The site is absolutely huge. We entered from the corporate side and were impressed by two things: the size, and the lack of people. After hearing reports of the chaos at the Expo, it seems like attendance is not going how the planners expected. We went to the GM pavilion where we watched a truly magical 4D film. We waited an hour for it, but it was worth it for all the surprises. Watching Chinese people frantically push their way into the theater even though there are enough seats was also amusing...and irritating. Afterwards we took the ferry over to the Pudong side where all the country pavilions are. Again, all the Chinese people made a mad dash for the boat as soon as the gate opened, shouting "Hurry run!" as if the boat would leave without them.

We only had time to walk around the European Square, which had much more people than the corporate pavilions. As expected, all the bigger countries had fancy pavilions: Spain and its giant wicker basket, Germany and its hulking steel mass (supposedly the program is really interesting), France with its lit-up lattice facade. The smaller countries, like Belarus, were basically just painted boxy warehouses. Romania had a surprisingly interesting pavilion, which is like a giant green apple with a bite taken out of it.

The Dutch Happy Street totally exceeded my expectations. I had to transcribe/translate an interview with John Kormeling, the architect, and his description of his design just sounded unorganized and crazy. Yesterday I got to see that it is definitely unorganized and crazy but in a good Alice in Wonderland meets futuristic carnival sort of way. There are no lines, since people can walk freely through the figure-eight street. The "buildings" showcased Dutch designers' work and there were plastic sheep sculptures you can move around at the bottom. Everywhere around are colored lights and somewhere bells are tinkling creepily. I think it showed many aspects of Dutch culture and design and was incredibly fun to walk through. But not all of the "nice" pavilions had cool programs. Austria's pavilion was pretty boring; they're trying to simulate Austria's beautiful nature, so you get to throw "snowballs" and walk through projected forests and ponds but the effect doesn't match up to the description.

The concert started at 8, with modern Swedish folk music. The band we came to see, Those Dancing Days, was after and they were a lot of fun. Five girls, dressed like they're from the 80's, playing indie-pop. At the end, some crazy American guy got into the seated area and managed to get the entire audience up and dancing. The volunteers who were blocking the entrance were helplessly pushed aside as Chinese guys excitedly ran in (of course, no Chinese girls dance.) It was one giant party.

I am looking forward to going back to the Expo this Friday when some friends come to visit...lots of pavilions on my list.

Going out...for once

I don't go out much, since it's expensive to drink in Shanghai and I dislike getting up late the next day. Loud, crowded places full of cigarette smoke aren't my thing either. But I decided to be social yesterday and actually had a nice time.

Last night, the Austrians and I went to an art opening at Shanghai Times Square. It was very weird. The exhibition is in the shopping mall, and features the works of 15 Montreal artists. A lot of the pieces weren't installed yet, but the exhibition runs only until the 19th. I wasn't really impressed or moved by any of the artworks, but it could have been the setting; maybe if I wasn't standing next to the Gucci store full of Chinese nouveau riche, the art would have made more sense. I did like the white wine they were serving. It was more amusing to look at the types of people at the mall: either supremely rich or supremely covetous of the rich.

Afterwards, I met up with Sue, her husband, and their various friends at Mokko's. The bar only serves sake and soju or Japanese distilled alcohols, which was a nice theme. Barhopping isn't my thing, but we went to Scoreboard and then OZNZ afterwards. I met some very cool people and made some new friends, which I am sadly lacking in...I've become a bit of a homebody in China. Crash course on Shanghai night life.

Of course, I pay for it the next day, when I wake up at noon and realize I need to start my literature review due by night.

Chinese health and beauty

By now, I'm familiar with most Chinese perceptions of female beauty: white skin, big eyes with long eyelashes, thin legs, nice breasts. I've seen products that can help with all of these areas. The most ubiquitous are the whitening skin products; it is nearly impossible to find a skin product that doesn't whiten, whether it's lotion, face wash, or sunscreen. There are plenty of eye makeup products as well as eyelash lengthening treatments, and if that isn't permanent enough, surgery to get a upper eyelid crease. There is a weight-loss tea commercial I see everyday on the bus that supposedly slims every part of your body, including your calves. In Korea you can get calf slimming surgery (where they basically remove some muscles…) And as for breast enhancement, other than the obvious plastic surgery, I once saw a bizarre infomercial for a "breast spray". It costs only 9 yuan but promises to increase bust size from flat to popping out of your shirt. It was the most entertaining thing I've seen.

I haven't really figured out what Chinese guy attractiveness is, although many girls have said they like their men to have an apartment…haha, oh sad but true.

I don't think Chinese people are more gullible when it comes to health and beauty miracle products (then again, they have Chinese medicine…) but I see so many commercials here, so they must have some sort of target audience. Like that diet tea commercial on the bus--I turn up my music whenever it comes on because I hate the ending phrase "不要太瘦!“ (Don't be too skinny!) I don't get it. I just watched a 2 minute commercial on how you can slim down your neck, waist, hips, arms, calves, and face.

As for Chinese health…it's interesting how so many things are still rooted in old ideas. We were talking about Xiao Xu's wife, who is doing the traditional 坐月子 after having a baby. Traditionally, the new mother can't leave the house for a month, eat "cold qi" food, take a shower, be exposed to wind, etc… maybe before modern medicine, these practices helped women recover faster. The modern version of "sitting a month" doesn't have to include no showering, but it often includes not using the tv, cellphone, or going online. I feel like this would just lead to postpartum depression, all the being cooped up inside with your mother-in-law and being made to eat pig knuckles and drink herbal concoctions. Then again, maybe you can have better psychological health and bond with your baby more. I'm sure lots of working moms regret not spending more time with their babies. But Chinese people never bring up that as a reason for 坐月子, probably because talking about psychological health is still a little taboo.

I'm not very convinced by most Chinese medicine practices, especially when I ask people how do they know it works and they reply, "Because we've been doing it for 5000 years!" Ah well. Sometimes peace of mind is the best thing and who am I to take that away?

Smells

I got my wish: summer is here. With the heat and mugginess come the smells. During the winter, to quote a professor, "all the shit is frozen", but now when i walk down the street, all the familiar and often unwelcome smells are back. Just walking home, I smell fried dough (油条), sichuan peppercorns, and 包子. And of course, that unpleasant street smell that is composed of garbage, exhaust fumes, and children's (and probably adult's) urine. Although many China smells are bad, I kinda like it…it's smells like a place where people live. Phoenix smells like desert and concrete, which I also like, but it's mostly sterile.

Smell is especially evocative for me. I've been visiting China since I was young, and some of my strongest memories are the smells. Sometimes I'll encounter them in the States too--like one I can only describe as "construction", which immediately brings me back to my grandparents' apartment complex--and when I do come across them in a different environment, I literally stop in my tracks in confusion. There's also that musty, metro station smell that I find sometimes in the garage in the summer.

One thing I really pay attention to when traveling is scent. Korea was very interesting, because the smells there really transported me out of Asia. For one, a lot of people wore perfume or cologne. Instead of Chinese BO and Chinese old man breath (anyone who knows old Chinese people knows what this is like…), I was surrounded by smells I typically associate with America. I smelled cologne that brought me back to high school prom and waterfront walks in Annapolis. I smelled perfume that reminded me of getting ready for a night out on Mill Ave. But there were plenty of Korean smells too: I remember donuts in the metro stations, fish markets, pickled vegetables, sterile museum.

And anywhere in the world, the combination of beer and chain-smoker breath…decidedly unsexy, but it still makes my heart squeeze painfully, even three years later.

I wonder if anyone else pays as much attention to smell. It probably explains why delicious food is so important to me.

Seoul: shopping and hanok neighborhoods

In retrospect, I should have finished updating my trip while in Korea since the VPN I'm using is getting progressively worse. Oh well...onwards to the last day in Seoul!

On Monday, we went back to Insadong to do some shopping. I was never really into Korean fashion before, but staying in China has changed my views on what is cute. I actually really liked a lot of the clothes and shoes in Korea, but I just settled for buying a handmade ring and a few other trinkets and souvenirs. Next was lunch... we were looking for bibimbap, but the octopus with seaweed and rice was just as good. The only other time I've had fresh octopus was in Mexico... the little suckers on the tentacles do weird me out a little. Sue and I always have room for Korean dessert, so we went to a dok cafe, bought some goodies to bring back to the office, and then split a delicious pot bingsu.

Afterwards, we were trying to find Bukchon, a hanok neighborhood, but got sidetracked by other neat places. We stopped by the Gyeongbokgung Palace. Since most museums are closed on Mondays, we didn't get a chance to check out the museums there, but the grounds were really pretty. My favorite part was probably the totems and jangseung, remnants of the old animist culture. I couldn't tell if the wooden and stone totems were authentic, but I liked seeing those. We then wandered around Samcheongdong, which was a quaint area with some traditional-style buildings, tons of coffee shops, boutiques, and Western restaurants.

The hanok neighborhoods was probably my favorite part, even though it's not exactly a touristy thing to do. We just walked around the narrow, hilly streets, looking at the houses tucked into alleys. There were big kimchee jars on the roofs, teens in their cute school uniforms buying snacks, and ajimas smiling at us as we walked by. All the houses were in really good condition (compared to China...) and I was interested to learn that there is a current debate about how to develop/preserve the area.

At night, we went out to Yeouido, the financial district. Sue and I had some gimbap as a snack, and then we made our way to the 63 Building (with some ice cream in hand, because it's impossible for us to go anywhere without some food...). This was once the tallest tower in Asia--like 25 years ago. I think Shanghai has jaded me because I wasn't impressed at all, except for how clean and shiny everything was.

For late dinner, we met up with Joe McPherson, the food blogger at Zenkimchi. We figured he knew the good places to eat so we had emailed him, and he was nice enough to take us to his favorite pork BBQ place. We had two kinds of pork, which we wrapped in lettuce and sesame leaf with red pepper paste and roasted garlic...mmm. The waitress poured beaten egg in the ring around the grill, which is usually used to catch the dripping oil, and threw in some kimchee and green onions to make a Korean omelette of sorts. We also had makgeoli, which is like bubbly unfiltered sake. Joe was very entertaining to talk to. He's lived in Seoul for 6 years and has had a lot of experiences with food as well as tv production. I learned quite a bit about food politics as well, which I didn't even know existed. Anyone interested in Korea and food should check out his blog.

We got home a little late, but it was a really fun night. The next morning we caught the airport bus to Incheon and headed home.

When we got back to Shanghai, I was actually surprised that I had that slightly relieved, coming-home feeling I get when returning from traveling. Korea was fun, but China is familiar and has technically been my home for the past year. I could read the signs, understand the language, and look around at the Chinese faces with a sense of familiarity. It was the first time that I realized that I can live in China long term--doesn't mean I really want to right now, but I have a feeling I'll be back in this country in the future.

Seoul: Hongdae shops and the museum

Sunday wasn't as busy. We spent the morning at the hostel since we all had work or homework to finish. Sue's friend Keely, who is teaching English on a Fulbright grant, met up with us for lunch. We ended up getting jajangmeon (炸酱面) which is technically Chinese food, but the Korean version was pretty tasty. Afterwards, we got some pot bingsu, which is shaved ice topped with condensed milk, azuki, fruit, and ice cream. With all these delicious desserts and fried street snacks, I'm curious as to how Koreans remain so skinny.

Afterwards, we went to Hongdae, which is a shopping, eating, drinking area. There was a flea market with crafts made by Hongdae University students (apparently the art program there is the best) and I picked up some cute bottle cap cellphone danglies.

We then went to the National Museum of Korea. I really liked spending the rest of the afternoon there and learning a little about Korean history. I've always been a big fan of celadon pottery and now I have a new interest in roof tiles.

Seoul: hanging out with Dr. Park

Yesterday, we met up with one of Sue's old professors, Dr. Park, at the Flying Bird teahouse in Insadong. The teahouse was tiny, with uneven stools, fishtank tables, and chatty songbirds flying freely around the room. I had some hydrangea tea, which has an interesting sweet aftertaste. We sat and chatted with Dr. Park for awhile. He is an extremely small man, at maybe 5'. He teaches at one of the universities and was a lot of fun to hang out with.

He treated us to lunch at a vegetarian place, where you take off your shoes at the door, sit down at the low tables on a mat, and watch as the server brings out 17 small dishes of banchan. I love banchan, so it was nice to try out so many different kinds. For example: apple-egg-potato salad, several kinds of slightly bitter spring greens, glass noodle stir-fry, marinated mushrooms, pickled bamboo, bean sprouts, and of course, kimchee.

After the healthy, filling lunch, we went to Changdokgung (昌德宫), one of the five great palaces built during the Josean Dynasty. I was sad to hear that only 30% of the buildings remain, since a lot of it was destroyed and looted during the Japanese occupation, but it was still a beautiful place. It's easy to see the Chinese influences on the architecture, but it's very different. Korean traditional architecture is much more understated and on a smaller scale, with more big, open spaces. The color schemes are also more muted and layouts of living spaces a little different. We went to the Secret Garden area, which is nothing like Chinese gardens. I'm not sure what traditional Korean gardens are like, but it was extremely peaceful and beautiful. The weather was gorgeous and families were out with their children (no one-child policy here, although low birth rates has become a problem).

Afterwards, we grabbed some coffee and then walked around Namdameng (南大门). Next, Dr. Park took us through back alleys and the vegetable stands, something most tourists probably skip. Next he took us over to Myeung Dong, which is a shopping district full of young people, street food, and international brands. The Myeung Dong cathedral is also there, which is a beautiful Gothic cathedral that has been outfitted with speakers and tv screens on the inside for all the people who go to the services. Dr. Park talked a little about the history of the museum and how it was a focal point during the democracy movements and the only place where police didn't dare go inside.

Dr. Park remained on as our tour guide...taking us to Lotte department store, which is 12 stories of luxury brands. There was a huge line waiting to go into Louis Vuitton. The duty free floor was packed with visiting Japanese tourists. Rich women trying on stiletto heels while boyfriends toted their Chanel bags behind them. Korea is incredibly consumerist. Also, Seoul has its share of ugly skyscrapers. Bad architecture isn't just a Chinese thing.

Dinner was at an Indian place, since Sophie doesn't like Korean food much, but everyone likes Indian food. After some good conversation and tasty curry, we parted with Dr. Park and went back to the hostel with sore feet.

It was a good day and we saw a lot of the city. Today was also busy, but will update on that later.

Seoul: hangul, street snacks, and college towns

Arrived in Seoul around noon today, just in time to escape the Expo chaos beginning in Shanghai. I had an argument with the airport security lady about my contact solution bottle being bigger than 100 mL, so I ended up pouring it into an empty pill bottle. There are NO signs saying you can't bring bottles on the plane and this was honestly the first time I had trouble getting things through security. We also had to take off our shoes. I think it's because of the Expo they've ramped up security, but it really is all a disorganized farce, like the security down in the subways. Anyway, the pill bottle isn't filthy or anything, but I hope I don't give myself eye problems...I just didn't know if I could find the solution I use for the corrective night-time lenses I wear.

That annoyance aside, everything has been great. I started picking up the Korean alphabet right away. Hangul has 24 letters, and I read somewhere that the shape of the characters mimicks the shape of your mouth when you say it. With Susan helping me learn the characters and sounds, I can basically read signs now, although I don't know what they mean--unless they're English words that have been Korean-ized. This is the first time I've been in a country where I don't understand the language, and it's kinda exciting.

The hostel is really clean, nice, and has wireless internet. We were all a little too giddy at how quickly websites were loading...a clear sign we've been stuck behind the Great Firewall for too long. Since we were all pretty tired, we just walked around the area we're staying in, Hongdae. Several colleges are here, including Ewa and Yonseh, two of the top universities in Korea with interesting histories. We walked over there and just explored the campuses. Since they were both built by American Christian missionaries, the architecture is very American. Also, the campus life feels very American too, compared to Chinese universities. It was so nice to see students out and about, club banners and posters everywhere, and people just having fun outside. University life in China is very dreary, at least at Nanjing.

As for food....For lunch, Sue and I had budae jjigae, or "army base stew", which has ramen, tofu, dok (niangao), hot dogs, and Spam. Sounds strange, but it was delicious and very filling. I was happy to see the many plates of different banchan. Afterwards while walking around, we tried some street food, even though we were still full. We paid 1000 won (90 cents) for a little bag of bungeoppang, which is a fish-shaped waffle pastry filled with red bean paste or custard, with some of the dough still a little gooey inside. We also had hotteok, which is like a thin pancake with cinnamon, sugar, and honey in the middle. The kind we had was all puffed up so it was a hollow pastry with a crunchy, cinnamony exterior. After a short nap at the hostel, we went back out in search of dak bulgogi, chicken barbeque. We ended up at a self-serve BBQ place, which was decent for 9000 won. Afterwards, we had Baskin Robbins ice cream. We were back in the university area, and again, I was struck by how many young people were just out and having fun.

Miles always says Chinese people are miserable people who don't know how to enjoy themselves, which is a sad comment...but I'm starting to see where he got that idea. I feel like China's spirit really was broken in the past 100 years because of both internal and external causes, and that has left a legacy on the society and spirit that exists today. South Korea also rebuilt themselves out of nothing, but the political and economic circumstances are so different... this is a complex issue that I am too tired to think about now.

Anyway, pretty much all we did today was eat, walk, and eat. But I am ok with that, because I love Korean food and everything is still relatively cheap, compared to the US. Tomorrow, we'll try and hit up some museums, have lunch with Susan's professor, and eat some more delicious food!

What I do at work

Lately at the magazine office, I've been writing lots of English emails and calling firms in San Francisco, England, and New Zealand. The next issue is featuring "overseas Chinese" architects, but many of the architects they chose to interview are second or third generation Chinese. That's where the American intern comes in handy. I also had to translate my editor's husband's homework reading packet into Chinese...because that's where the American intern comes in handy.

At the architecture office, it's been more interesting and educational. I've moved on to the elevations for the Suzhou villas project. It's actually quite difficult...but I'm glad the boss has given me free rein over Unit B-6. The interior layout is ok, but I'm stuck on window placement and how to create courtyards/walkways.

The plan.

Started an elevation...but Chinese architecture has a lot of detail and decoration that I don't know, so right now it looks like crap.

Other than that, I do stuff for Mrs. Jin, like translate captions of postcards of her paintings or make Sketchup models to use for images later on.

A three story Hong Kong mansion (walls hidden)

Some project in Hangzhou. The master bedroom.

And in my free time, I make icons for my dock.

They're so beautiful.

Cooking

I did a free physical exam at the gym. Did height and weight measurements, did pushups, figured out BMI, etc. At the end, the trainer told me I have athlete stats, that my body fat percentage is actually below normal...but my butt is a "problem area" and that my body type is more like white people's than Chinese. Ok trainer...... But really, I'm happy with how I am. I don't lose or gain weight easily, which is great since I love eating as well as exercising. Since coming to Shanghai, I've been cooking several times a week. The boys are too lazy to cook for themselves so I make them chop vegetables, pay me for ingredients, and clean in return for food. Win-win. I didn't really go out this weekend, but I cooked a lot...and ate a lot.

• Yakisoba for Saturday lunch
  
• Carrot cake with orange yogurt icing
  
• Potato and ham chowder with garlic bread for Saturday dinner
  
• Paneer
  
• Croque monsieur with bechamel sauce for Sunday lunch (actually Michael did this, I was the helper for once)
• Paneer mutter for Sunday dinner
  
• Ginger-infused sugar syrup

I was pretty bummed out this weekend, and spending time in the kitchen helped cheer me up a little.

Mr. Jin and Ishmael?

I complain a lot about inane conversations at work, but today was really good.

My boss, Mr. Jin, sat down to show me some pictures of some villas in the old Hui style. Courtyard houses were very common, composed of simple rectilinear blocks; the different pathways provided variations in space. There were rules about how many doors, windows, pillars, rooms, etc one could have and only the emperor was allowed to have decorations and frivolities in design.

Southeastern Anhui is a mountainous region and many villages lived in isolation from the kingdom. It was also an area of rich Hui merchants and because of the isolation, they often worked their way around design rules. Instead of 9 fancy pillars in the hallways, they'd make three big pillars and then ring each one with three, decorative pillars connected via delicate latticework. Instead of plain beams, they'd carve flowers and clouds onto them and hope that no officials would happen to drop by and look up at the ceiling. Back then, liberties with design meant beheading so these guys were gutsy.

(Huizhou was at its economic and cultural peak during the Song dynasty. The Cultural Revolution pretty much finished off--literally--the remaining merchants and landowners, and now Anhui is very poor.)

Then 100 years ago, Western influence came into China, bringing with it Western ideas of design and technology. Stone and concrete began replacing wood, which was now a limited resource. Furthermore, the concept of city began to change. Before, it had been a highly feudal setup, with a city being a king surrounded by establishments, which was surrounded by farms. Gradually, people began packing in together into smaller and smaller spaces, due to many reasons such as industrialization. This is a process we are continuing today. Shanghai has about 20 million people. I live in a box 200 feet off the ground.

Mr. Jin deplored this condition of living. He says the courtyard house, where people spend their time outdoors and under the sun, is the natural way for people to live. Xiao Yan then pointed out that only in the modern concept of city can there be technological progress. Marketplace of ideas, division of labor, etc.

Mr. Jin, "That's true. But the traditional living style lasted thousands of years. It worked. How long do modern cities last? Already we can see it's a failed model. You can argue progress is important for society, but the old way of living is important for people. "

This is the most beautiful thing I've heard so far in China.This argument may not make sense to some people, but anyone who has read Daniel Quinn's book Ishmael will understand completely.

Xiao Yan said, "I think the old ways perished because they weren't efficient at all. Survival of the fittest applies to ideas too."

Mr. Jin: "What we have today isn't survival of the fittest. Rather, it's the survival of whoever can eliminate the weakest the fastest. In nature, both the strong and the weak find a way to exist, for how else can we have diversity in the world? Diversity applies to culture as well."

I wanted to hug him. My boss is awesome. I feel like Mr. Jin may have also read Ishmael.

There is no way I can go into Quinn's philosophy briefly, but basically, humans currently live in a way that is not in accordance with nature's laws, which is why we are destroying ourselves and the planet. No amount of technology will change that. We have to realize that a way of life that works is one that lasts--what doesn't work is putting all of our energy in developing sustainable cities, making recycling programs, putting little bandages on huge problems in order to maintain our current way of life. As well-meaning as people are, I still shake my head at slogans like, "Better city, better life."

Well this blog entry got a little out of control…but Ishmael is one of the most important books I have read. Combine it with discussions about design and I am super excited.

Identity

This past year in China has often seemed like a war of attrition on my nerves--how long can I survive in a foreign country without facebook and Mexican food? Of course I've gained a lot during my time here, such as a broader world view, and most things that I've been deprived of can easily be replaced, such as cheese enchiladas. However, there is one thing that is irrevocably lost and that is my sense of identity.

I'm sure every ABC (or child born to immigrant parents) at some point or another grapples with the feeling of not quite belonging to the society he/she grows up in. While I never experienced racism growing up, I was always acutely aware of my Chinese heritage. I know this sensitivity was largely due to my parents' influence and I still clearly remember some of my dad's lectures about how we had to study hard because it was the only way we could make it in a foreign society. My parents made sure that my sisters and I knew that deep, deep, deep down we were Chinese and that no white American would ever look at us and see otherwise. We had to be proud of our Chinese heritage, learn how to speak Chinese, and in the best case scenario, have Chinese kids. This constant reiteration of our Chinese-ness led to me thinking, "Hey, some of my values may be American, but I'm Chinese and my homeland is China." It made me uncomfortable saying, "I'm American." It made me think that studying abroad in China would be an easy transition.

After living in China for almost a year, I see how wrong I was. China is not a beautiful place that explains who I am and soothes that vaguely troubled part of my identity. Instead, it obliterated the idea that I'm Chinese. I saw clearly that China is a place full of people who live, think, work, and act differently than I do. Knowledge of language and culture do not make a person. Living here has made me see my homeland is America. It's made me see that all my relatives here are strangers. I've seen what real Chinese people believe in, what they hope for and dream about...and I am fundamentally different.

I have Chinese-American friends who still hold on to--cling to, really--the idea that they are Chinese and therefore different...and therefore special. They've only dated ABCs, only hang out with ABCs, joke about token white friends, proudly join Chinese-American clubs... but yet they don't speak Chinese, don't read Chinese, have never lived in China, know nothing about China's history or present. What does cultural pride mean if you know nothing about the culture? There's nothing wrong with having friends of the same cultural background. Some of my closest friends are Chinese-American. But I know too many naive ABCs who call white people "whiteys" and have an "azn crew". Purposefully surrounding yourself with people who look like you is the most superficial way of piecing together a fragmented identity. It only serves to show others that yes, you feel like you don't quite belong to the society that you live in.

I never liked the cliques of my Chinese-American peers, so growing up, I always felt doubly displaced. But now I see what I perceived as huge cultural differences were simply imaginary. I am very glad to have had the richness of growing up with two cultural influences, and I know my experiences in China will continue to affect me in the future. Perhaps I've lost the naive idea that I am Chinese, but I think I've gained a much clearer idea of who I am. At the very least, I've realized the distinctions between ethnicity, culture, and nationality...three concepts that don't seem difficult, but can be very muddled when you come from a Chinese background. To my ABC peers--you are not Chinese. You are Chinese-American. And that is OK.

Eco Design Fair

Today, Michael, Werner, and I went to the 5th annual Eco Design Fair at Jiashan market. The weather was warm, a lot of people were out, and for the first time I noticed green leaves sprouting on the trees. Finally finally spring is here.

There was an organic farmers market, which was just a few stalls of small vegetables...amazing how we're so used to the jumbo-sized everything we find at supermarkets. I like farmers markets, but I didn't feel like spending 20 kuai on celery today. The courtyard area was eco-friendly baby products and clothing, but since I don't have a baby... There were also workshops and lectures throughout the day.

Adam Minter, blogger at shanghaiscrap.com, was one of the keynote speakers, and he gave a very interesting speech about the scrap recycling industry. His main point was that in order for recycling to become more efficient, it has to become more profitable. Recycling is already a huge industry. Although a lot of people disparage the recycling industry as dirty and a sham, most factories do their job efficiently and well. I learned that almost half the world's steel is from scrap...it gives me a newfound appreciation for the street scrap peddlars with their ridiculously overloaded bicycle carts.

After the speech, we went and got free vegan ice cream at the Freshary booth...black sesame and vanilla swirl cone. Two little French kids came up and asked for strawberry ice cream--in perfect Chinese. My brain was a bit confused.

We stopped briefly at Source, a clothing store/gallery, went to 85 C bakery, and then went home just as it started to rain. I guess Shanghai weather will always be this bipolar, even in the spring.

Conversations with Coworkers

I told my coworkers I'm going to South Korea for the May holiday. Zhou Ying and Ye Zi said I should go to North Korea instead. I reminded them as an American, that is not possible...and besides, I find North Korea to be depressing. Then we had the following conversation:

"Depressing? North Koreans are very happy!"
"…how are they happy? They lead brain-washed lives."
"But they don't know they're brain-washed, so they're happy with what they have. They love their country so much! They're probably happier than we are, because they never have to worry about starving or finding a job or buying a house."
"uh... let's not even go into socialism. But is it true happiness if you're denied the truth? They still have a low quality of life, no matter how much they believe in their Great Leader."
"Well…I think you look at things from an American point of view."
"I look at things from a point of view that values the ability to think for oneself and allows individual freedom. Sure, you can call it American."

To be fair, Shi Xiong was on my side. He is also much older and has studied abroad. Being exposed to foreign cultures and ideas really makes a difference...

A few minutes later, Ye Zi started telling me how dangerous Xinjiang people are, how they always steal and are extremely violent. I think she saw my skeptical face, because she then hurried to reassure me that only Xinjiang people in Shanghai are dangerous…because a friend of hers went to Xinjiang and said the people there have normal, peaceful lives. Well, imagine that! I tried explaining to her that being a marginalized, underrepresented, poor part of society tends to make people resort to crimes. She insisted Xinjiang people are naturally prone to being criminals and selling drugs because their culture has a problem. At this point, I just turned around and went back to work.

I don't think my coworkers represent all Chinese people. But at this point, I've met so many--dare I say it--ignorant idiots, that I've already lost faith in Chinese opinions about the world. I know this isn't their fault, that their education system has huge, glaring problems, that their culture promotes conformity over creative thinking, etc... but at this point, I prefer American ignorance to Chinese ignorance.

Chinese wedding games

My Chinese flatmate Paula got married today and the festivities started early in the morning. The cosmetician and all the bridesmaids arrived around 8. Around 10, the people downstairs set off a huge heart shaped "wreath" of firecrackers that lasted for several minutes. This is when the groom started coming up the elevator and the girls, all dressed up, hurried to the front door in anticipation for him to arrive.

Apparently, the tradition is to harrass the groom by giving him tasks to prove his devotion to the bride. The girls first demanded red envelopes before letting the groom in, so the guys outside started stuffing 红包 under the door (I got one too...20 kuai!). But money wasn't enough--after lots of loud negotiating and jokes in Shanghainese, the girls wanted him to do 20 pushups before he could enter. Miles was watching in the hall and said they didn't actually do them, but the guys got to come in, after "pushing" their way in past the girls' barrier.

That was just the front, main door. For the second door to the actual apartment, there were more tasks. All of us were standing in the hallway and just watching the hilarious 热闹. The men had to dance Swan Lake together, and then the groom had to sing 10 songs with the word "云“ in them. He could only think of two, even after checking online on his phone, so he appeased the bridesmaids by stuffing more 红包 under the door. Then he had to think of 20 positive qualities of the bride (respectful to elders, good handwriting!) and say "I love you" in 20 different languages or dialects (somehow bonjour and salut got included). Finally, this door opened...

...and one more door, the one to the bedroom. He had to write 20 promises to the bride (ie make a fortune and stay out at night with the guys for only 2 hours at a time). Finally he was granted access into the bedroom, where he had to find the bride's wedding shoes and put them on for her.

Things finally calmed down, tea was poured, photos taken. The couple was probably exhausted by this point, but they then had to go downstairs to the waiting limo to go to the groom's house for more games. After the ceremony and reception, apparently the friends will follow them back to their house to harrass them some more. Last night Paula told me a wedding is only fun for friends and family, and it definitely seems like it. They looked very happy together though.

Tomb Sweeping Festival weekend

I remember visiting the burial mounds on my dad's side when I was very young. My aunt brought food and had us burn paper money. I didn't really understand what it was all about then...but all my ancestors are up north, so I spent this year's holiday hanging out in Shanghai.

Saturday--I visited the Yu Gardens with Anna and Werner. Beautiful place, but packed full of people.


Lots of detail, even in the roofs.

Afterwards, Michael and I went to "P-yoga" which we quickly discovered meant pilates-yoga...no fun, pilates is painful. Then, delicious vegan dinner at Godly with the flatmates and Jacki.

Sunday--went to the Shanghai Urban Planning Center. This is a cool museum, which shows the past, present, and future of Shanghai. I really like seeing the pictures of old Shanghai, as well as the room size model of the city. There is a special exhibit on the Expo, and as tired as I am of all the Expo propaganda, seeing all the designs and models made me pretty excited to see the real thing.





Then I went to Easter potluck at Susan's place, where I ate too much American food and amazing carrot cake made in a rice cooker.

Monday--we had the day off, so me and the flatmates went to the South Bund fabric market. This place is three stories of tailors and fabric, full of knockoff Burberry coats, traditional Chinese clothes and Versace suits--all custom-made. You bring the tailors a picture of whatever you want, pick a fabric, haggle a price, and the clothes will be done in a week. The boys were very bored...but Anna and I both got a casual qipao made, which I'm excited to see how it turned out. Then at night, went to burger night at Blue Frog Cafe, where I met more of Susan's expat friends.

And today--just got back from a North Korean film festival at Dada Bar, hosted by Koryo Tours. I only stayed for one of the documentaries, The Game of Their Lives, which is about the North Korean soccer team who nearly made it to the finals in the 1966 World Cup. Very interesting.

The bad and the good

Things I am tired of:

• Hour long commutes to work every day.
• The bus driving in the bike lane during rush hour. That means I have to get off in the midst of 50 irate scooter drivers and seriously hope my fate isn't to die meaninglessly in China.
• Rainy days almost every other day. The crappy weather in general. And it's been cold since November, where is spring??
  
• Old women cutting me in line to get on the bus, for the checkout, every conceivable situation where a queue might be needed.
• Coworkers talking about Happy Farm.
• The smiling blue Haibao mascot and its creepy ubiquity...whatever size/material it's made of/outfit it's wearing, I just want to deface them.
  
• Coworkers asking dumb questions about America
• Censorship.
• Coworkers who constantly emphasize which genders should do what activities or have what preferences. For women: driving small Japanese cars, cooking and cleaning, cutesiness. For men: sports, being professors, architectural design.

To balance out the negativity...things I'm happy about

• New gym membership. Do yoga, workout, sit in the sauna.
• My flatmates.
• Mangos everywhere
• I'm sure there are more, but I don't feel like racking my brain to make a fair list.

Three months. There are lot of things I miss.

A few photos

I sometimes help the interior designers do some sketches for the client.


Magnolias are the city flower. For about four days, there were gorgeous white and pink magnolias all over the city, but they're gone now.


Strongbow! It was 25 kuai at City Shop, an overpriced foreign goods store. But if I were rich, I'd shop there too.


On the bus to work today, I saw this great example of worker safety in China.

I've been trying to cook more often, now that I have access to the kitchen. For dinner today, Anna and I made curry with "vegetarian chicken", which is pretty much like very firm tofu. For dessert, I made a mango banana smoothie with some coconut milk.

Weekly Report 3: Happy Farm

The reliance on the internet is astonishing here. I know I would find extremely difficult to not go online, as most Americans would too, but for the most part, our hobbies and social lives don’t exist in the virtual realm. For my Chinese workers, their life exists on the internet… one thing especially funny is their obsession with Happy Farm.

Anecdote 1: Xiao Xu is married, and his pregnant wife is in the hospital. He says now that she isn’t home, he’ll go eat fast food and then play computer games the rest of the night. The other coworkers then joked the only difference with her gone was that he no longer ate homemade meals. But apparently they were only half joking. He said today that a normal day for him is to go home, eat dinner with his wife, and then each of them go watch tv or go online until bedtime. Perhaps this is a normal working couple routine, when both people are too tired to do much else, but I start to wonder when a 29 year old man plays WoW or Happy Farm every night instead of hanging out with his wife.

Anecdote 2: During the Suzhou trip, Xiao Hong suddenly exclaimed “Oh no, I forgot!” and hastily pulled out her cell phone to call her husband. I thought she forgot something urgent, but no…she told him she wouldn’t get back until late and asked if he could sign on to her Happy Farm account to collect her vegetables. A 27 year old woman collecting virtual vegetables to sell in her virtual restaurant to cute animated people to make virtual money…to buy more vegetables. When I asked the office what the fuss about it was, they told me it was like Americans with Facebook. Oh and that it’s not just collecting vegetables, you can buy pets and upgrade your restaurant so more customers come!

I don’t know. I haven’t seen this kind of phenomenon in America, where every demographic of the population is obsessed with a game—especially one that looks like it’s meant for elementary school children. I know that sounds really disparaging, but seriously—it’s a brightly colored flash game, with cute animations, simple concept, no real brainpower needed.

Why do Chinese people need Happy Farm? Clearly, it’s all about escapism. The Happy Farm game actually reminds me of Neopets, this cute online game everyone plays when they are 11. Looking back on those days, the best aspect of the game was you had complete control. For an 11 year old, it’s liberating to make all these incredibly important decisions, such as what to feed your pet or what price items in your shop. I think Happy Farm works the same way for Chinese people. After a mind-numbing day at work/school where they are told what to do or force-fed information, it gives them a chance to make money, to make their own decisions (buy a white puppy or new curtains?), and to make friends. The main website is a huge networking website like Facebook, but actually has a lot of functions that work well.

But I think the craze may also be due to a rather juvenile collective mindset. There isn’t a very high level of sophistication in terms of clothes, food, and activities (middle-aged women often dress nauseatingly “fashionably” with ruffles, rhinestones, fur, and stiletto leather boots—all in one outfit.) So Happy Farm is appealing because Chinese people aren’t used to anything more advanced. Sometimes what we need is a brainless, fun game to decompress after a tiring day, but I believe in age-appropriateness for everything.