I was definitely in a weird, gloomy mood towards the end of last semester. School was a drag, I had concerns about the internship, I missed the States incredibly, and I was bummed at the thought of 4 more years of school (one year undergrad, 3 years graduate). Basically I felt everything had stalled.
Being home for a week with plenty of time to think has helped me a lot. One thing that had bothered me was the idea of working my way up the ranks within an architecture firm. The lack of independence and control goes against my nature. But I know there are a lot of things to learn when I start working. Architecture is a field where experience almost matters more than education, and a humble start is something every architect goes through.
Another thing I've realized there is no ideal job. Maybe a rather obvious observation...but throughout my life, I've basically heard two mantras: "Follow your dreams and do what makes you happy" and "Every job will become boring, even if you try to follow your dreams" (guess which one is my dad's favorite saying). But I don't think there is one or the other. I don't believe in the "ideal person" so why do people stress about the "ideal job"? It's just a matter of matching up your interests as much as possible and working through any difficulties.
So I will be going back to Shanghai with more optimism. The assignment I got from the office over break is a little tedious, but it's allowing me to read about a lot of architects I didn't know about. I'm still looking for another job and have plans to volunteer if that falls through. Four more months of (relative) freedom to explore and work on my own projects. I'm pretty lucky.
2/22/2010
2/19/2010
America, pleased to make your reacquantaince
After a few days of uncomfortable "what the hell am I doing here?", I am so happy to be home. Of course, home is more like "home" since I know I am moving on away from Phoenix soon, but life is great right now.
I'm really looking forward to summer. Hot, dry, and miserable, I don't mind at all. I always love it when the seasons change, even when I want to die in a puddle of sweat. Also, summer this year means an end to the Flagship chapter that has been my life for the past two years and a beginning of a new phase.
I'm really looking forward to summer. Hot, dry, and miserable, I don't mind at all. I always love it when the seasons change, even when I want to die in a puddle of sweat. Also, summer this year means an end to the Flagship chapter that has been my life for the past two years and a beginning of a new phase.
2/15/2010
Homecoming?...
I've been back in Phoenix for about half a week now, and honestly, I have mixed feelings. On one hand, it is wonderful to be in America. The simple fact that I can see the sun makes me unbelievably happy. On the other hand, it also makes me realize two things: how much I've outgrown Phoenix and how much I take for granted.
As I explained to a friend, going to China was like uprooting myself from Phoenix, transferring to a tiny pot in Nanjing and then moving to a huge pot in Shanghai. In a few months, I'll be coming back to a medium pot in Phoenix, but at this point all I want is to be planted in some stable soil. I've been moving around so much and my ideas about the future have changed as well. I have no desire or motivation to finish my business management degree, because it seems so trivial at this point. But not finishing it really isn't an option either...
As for my second realization, there are so many mundane things here that I'm not used to. I went to Fry's and for half a minute, just looked up and down an entire aisle of jam--different brands, flavors, sizes, prices. I went to Cartel for some coffee and was amazed at how friendly and polite the strangers were. I climbed A mountain and for the first time in 8 months, watched the sun set. My bed is so soft. There are fat people everywhere. I didn't know I would have reverse culture shock.
Despite the rush of uncertainties, it is nice to relax and go back to a normal eating/sleeping schedule. I've been enjoying time with friends and family, as well as eating plenty of Mexican food and cheese products. Today we are having a Chinese New Year's potluck, so it's time to make some dumplings...I'm looking forward to the turkey though, since I missed it for Thanksgiving!
As I explained to a friend, going to China was like uprooting myself from Phoenix, transferring to a tiny pot in Nanjing and then moving to a huge pot in Shanghai. In a few months, I'll be coming back to a medium pot in Phoenix, but at this point all I want is to be planted in some stable soil. I've been moving around so much and my ideas about the future have changed as well. I have no desire or motivation to finish my business management degree, because it seems so trivial at this point. But not finishing it really isn't an option either...
As for my second realization, there are so many mundane things here that I'm not used to. I went to Fry's and for half a minute, just looked up and down an entire aisle of jam--different brands, flavors, sizes, prices. I went to Cartel for some coffee and was amazed at how friendly and polite the strangers were. I climbed A mountain and for the first time in 8 months, watched the sun set. My bed is so soft. There are fat people everywhere. I didn't know I would have reverse culture shock.
Despite the rush of uncertainties, it is nice to relax and go back to a normal eating/sleeping schedule. I've been enjoying time with friends and family, as well as eating plenty of Mexican food and cheese products. Today we are having a Chinese New Year's potluck, so it's time to make some dumplings...I'm looking forward to the turkey though, since I missed it for Thanksgiving!
2/09/2010
回家
I leave for the airport in half an hour to go back to AZ for a few weeks. Carrie promised me a Filiberto's carne asada burrito with guacamole upon arrival. I'm probably more excited for that than anything else... I also can't wait for unrestricted internet. And a soft bed! My parents don't know I'm visiting (although apparently my dad caught a glimpse of the emails between me and my sisters...they tried to cover it up though.) Seriously, I'm so happy to take a break from China.
I get back to China the morning of March 1st. The office doesn't really care that I'm gone so long, haha. That means I don't either.
I get back to China the morning of March 1st. The office doesn't really care that I'm gone so long, haha. That means I don't either.
2/05/2010
Day 1 at Designer and Designing
I went to work today.
Well, I am using the term "work" loosely...more specifically, I sat around for 5 hours on my computer, flipping through magazines and reading stuff online. When I met the chief editor yesterday, she didn't know who I was or what program I am coming from. (hmm Jian laoshi, how are you doing your job?...) She also clearly didn't know what work I should do and just told me to "participate". The other editors don't know what to do with me either, so they cleared a desk for me and told me to continue reading to familiarize myself with their magazine.
They had their workplace Chinese New Year lunch today. Free food that included cold kidneys and papaya steamed with frog ovaries. Surprisingly delicious? The boss passed out 红包 and I got one too, despite not having done any work yet.
But I found out how I got this internship. Turns out one of the old interns, Jessie, was once Jian laoshi's student in Shanghai, and she also did research at the same center an OSU flagship student did last semester. Jessie was the one who got me the position, because obviously the boss had nothing to do with it. And Jian laoshi then tried to sell me on how amazing being assistant editor to the magazine would be...hahaha. The employees today were talking about architectural magazines. Xiao Yu made the analogy of El Croquis being what a graduate student would read--and Designer and Designing what an elementary student would read.
Since there is nothing for me to do, I've set a few goals for myself. Learn how to use Adobe Flash and Dreamweaver. Redo the magazine's website (this may be a little ambitious, but I have 4 months). Start research for my honors thesis. Do a lot of reading on architecture.
Still, I really wish I was doing architecture work, even if it's just drafting, because I know at an architecture firm I would actually be useful and valued. Here I may just end up wasting table space.
Well, I am using the term "work" loosely...more specifically, I sat around for 5 hours on my computer, flipping through magazines and reading stuff online. When I met the chief editor yesterday, she didn't know who I was or what program I am coming from. (hmm Jian laoshi, how are you doing your job?...) She also clearly didn't know what work I should do and just told me to "participate". The other editors don't know what to do with me either, so they cleared a desk for me and told me to continue reading to familiarize myself with their magazine.
They had their workplace Chinese New Year lunch today. Free food that included cold kidneys and papaya steamed with frog ovaries. Surprisingly delicious? The boss passed out 红包 and I got one too, despite not having done any work yet.
But I found out how I got this internship. Turns out one of the old interns, Jessie, was once Jian laoshi's student in Shanghai, and she also did research at the same center an OSU flagship student did last semester. Jessie was the one who got me the position, because obviously the boss had nothing to do with it. And Jian laoshi then tried to sell me on how amazing being assistant editor to the magazine would be...hahaha. The employees today were talking about architectural magazines. Xiao Yu made the analogy of El Croquis being what a graduate student would read--and Designer and Designing what an elementary student would read.
Since there is nothing for me to do, I've set a few goals for myself. Learn how to use Adobe Flash and Dreamweaver. Redo the magazine's website (this may be a little ambitious, but I have 4 months). Start research for my honors thesis. Do a lot of reading on architecture.
Still, I really wish I was doing architecture work, even if it's just drafting, because I know at an architecture firm I would actually be useful and valued. Here I may just end up wasting table space.
2/04/2010
Shanghai life
Phase 2 of China: Internship in Shanghai.
Moved to Shanghai on Tuesday. Thanks to Miles and his apartment search, I am living in a studio-ish apartment--basically a 25 sq. meter bedroom with a shared kitchen and bathroom. We are literally next door neighbors. Our complex is just a few minutes walk from the city center and the environment is pretty nice. My flatmates are German, Swiss, Australian, and Chinese, and they seem friendly so far.
I definitely feel like I am living in a big international city. I see foreigners everywhere, places are cleaner, Starbucks every square kilometer. But of course you still have the Chinese 特征: construction everywhere, spit on the ground, jaywalking at every corner. It's a change from Nanjing, which although crowded, was still relatively quiet and "traditional" China. Hopefully these next few months I can find my own niche here and make friends.
Moved to Shanghai on Tuesday. Thanks to Miles and his apartment search, I am living in a studio-ish apartment--basically a 25 sq. meter bedroom with a shared kitchen and bathroom. We are literally next door neighbors. Our complex is just a few minutes walk from the city center and the environment is pretty nice. My flatmates are German, Swiss, Australian, and Chinese, and they seem friendly so far.
I definitely feel like I am living in a big international city. I see foreigners everywhere, places are cleaner, Starbucks every square kilometer. But of course you still have the Chinese 特征: construction everywhere, spit on the ground, jaywalking at every corner. It's a change from Nanjing, which although crowded, was still relatively quiet and "traditional" China. Hopefully these next few months I can find my own niche here and make friends.
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